The kids and I took a ride to visit my folks on Sunday — Holly was scheduled to work this weekend and my husband Garth (not his real name) stayed behind to try and get some work done here at home — and, as soon as we walked into the kitchen, my mom began to show me some of the new tricks she learned during rehab:
- She can reach her arm behind her back: which, only a few short weeks ago, the pain of attempting to do so would have caused her to pass out (me too)
- She can cross both her arms in front of her: see previous bullet
- Oh, and watch this: she grabbed her elbow and gestured in an "Up yours!" sort of way, Jersey style
Mom stood there grinning like a school girl, after we whooped and wowed, as if she just finished showing off some super cool new cheer-leading routine and I half expected the woman to drop down into a split.
"Wow, I am SO proud of you!"
Aaaaaand, then it happened.
Me: What is up with ALL the birds?
It was a weird sort of Freaky Friday moment, which started out innocently enough: I looked out the window and, I swear to you, there had to be about two dozen birds hanging out, in and around the bird feeders.
Mom: I know your father just filled up the feeders, this morning.
What IS it with senior citizens AND birds?
Me: But it's already half-empty!
Honestly, my in-laws are the same way. They'll eat a bowl of crackers soaked in warm milk…[blech!]…for dinner, but don't think twice about dropping some major bucks on a 50 lb. sack of gourmet bird food, they can barely lift.
Me: You know, those dumb birds don't know how good they have it.
Aaaaand, that's when my father's bionic hearing kicked in.
Me: I mean, they eat WAY better than you guys do.
I was able to crack that last little ray of sunshine off before my dad finally limped his way into the kitchen.
Dad: Yeah, but they make your mother happy and I would pay anything for that.
Aaaaaand, I had just been served up a lovely peace of humble pie (accented heavily with rolling r's and w's that sound more like v's) for dessert and, well, when did our lives go so crrrrrrriz-crrrrrrroz epple-zauze, eny-vays?!?
Mom: I think maybe she's right.
Who? Me? Really? I looked around to make sure no one else was standing in the kitchen, just in case.
Mom: Maybe it's time the birds went on a little diet.
So, my parents decided it would be okay to feed them every OTHER day and, well, those dumb birds really don't know how good they have it.
Dad: Oh, and we picked up a strawberry short cake for the kids too.
Notice how he said "for the kids" which is perfectly fine with me and not because I don't like strawberry short cake — it's my favorite.
Me: Sounds awesome, thanks!
I was already sort of full of, you know, humble pie.
Me: I'll make the coffee.
[one beat, two beats]
Mom and Dad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Heh…yeah, right…some things, however, NEVER change…including my inability to make a decent pot of coffee…damnit.
Hope: I'll do it!
My ll year-old, on the other hand, makes an AWESOME pot of coffee and, well, good thing too.
Hope: Dad taught me how.
Because my husband, Garth (NHRN) is going to have his hands full…I mean, he IS married to me…and I really don't care for the taste OR even the thought of warm milk…[blech!]…no matter WHAT my kids say.
© 2003 – 2012 This Full House
Comments
81 responses to “Growing Old, It’s For the Birds”
My parents are out “birding” at this very moment. I am not even sure what that is.
My parents are out “birding” at this very moment. I am not even sure what that is.
My parents are out “birding” at this very moment. I am not even sure what that is.
My parents are out “birding” at this very moment. I am not even sure what that is.
My parents are out “birding” at this very moment. I am not even sure what that is.
My parents are out “birding” at this very moment. I am not even sure what that is.
My parents are out “birding” at this very moment. I am not even sure what that is.
My parents are out “birding” at this very moment. I am not even sure what that is.
My parents are out “birding” at this very moment. I am not even sure what that is.
Parents today, eh?
Parents today, eh?
Parents today, eh?
Parents today, eh?
Parents today, eh?
Parents today, eh?
Parents today, eh?
Parents today, eh?
Parents today, eh?
My mom and step-dad are the same way. They would rather have a gift certificate to get more five-star bird seed than one to their favorite restaurant.
My mom and step-dad are the same way. They would rather have a gift certificate to get more five-star bird seed than one to their favorite restaurant.
My mom and step-dad are the same way. They would rather have a gift certificate to get more five-star bird seed than one to their favorite restaurant.
My mom and step-dad are the same way. They would rather have a gift certificate to get more five-star bird seed than one to their favorite restaurant.
My mom and step-dad are the same way. They would rather have a gift certificate to get more five-star bird seed than one to their favorite restaurant.
My mom and step-dad are the same way. They would rather have a gift certificate to get more five-star bird seed than one to their favorite restaurant.
My mom and step-dad are the same way. They would rather have a gift certificate to get more five-star bird seed than one to their favorite restaurant.
My mom and step-dad are the same way. They would rather have a gift certificate to get more five-star bird seed than one to their favorite restaurant.
My mom and step-dad are the same way. They would rather have a gift certificate to get more five-star bird seed than one to their favorite restaurant.
My in-laws are very into the birds. They sit on their back porch, surrounded by feeders, and watch them all day long.
We had a bird feeder when my daughter was born, because my husband was convinced she would love looking out the window and watching the bird (she was an infant, so I’m not sure she could even see out of the window) but after several bags of feed, it quickly became apparent that we were going to have to choose bird feed or diapers. The birds lost.
My in-laws are very into the birds. They sit on their back porch, surrounded by feeders, and watch them all day long.
We had a bird feeder when my daughter was born, because my husband was convinced she would love looking out the window and watching the bird (she was an infant, so I’m not sure she could even see out of the window) but after several bags of feed, it quickly became apparent that we were going to have to choose bird feed or diapers. The birds lost.
My in-laws are very into the birds. They sit on their back porch, surrounded by feeders, and watch them all day long.
We had a bird feeder when my daughter was born, because my husband was convinced she would love looking out the window and watching the bird (she was an infant, so I’m not sure she could even see out of the window) but after several bags of feed, it quickly became apparent that we were going to have to choose bird feed or diapers. The birds lost.
My in-laws are very into the birds. They sit on their back porch, surrounded by feeders, and watch them all day long.
We had a bird feeder when my daughter was born, because my husband was convinced she would love looking out the window and watching the bird (she was an infant, so I’m not sure she could even see out of the window) but after several bags of feed, it quickly became apparent that we were going to have to choose bird feed or diapers. The birds lost.
My in-laws are very into the birds. They sit on their back porch, surrounded by feeders, and watch them all day long.
We had a bird feeder when my daughter was born, because my husband was convinced she would love looking out the window and watching the bird (she was an infant, so I’m not sure she could even see out of the window) but after several bags of feed, it quickly became apparent that we were going to have to choose bird feed or diapers. The birds lost.
My in-laws are very into the birds. They sit on their back porch, surrounded by feeders, and watch them all day long.
We had a bird feeder when my daughter was born, because my husband was convinced she would love looking out the window and watching the bird (she was an infant, so I’m not sure she could even see out of the window) but after several bags of feed, it quickly became apparent that we were going to have to choose bird feed or diapers. The birds lost.
My in-laws are very into the birds. They sit on their back porch, surrounded by feeders, and watch them all day long.
We had a bird feeder when my daughter was born, because my husband was convinced she would love looking out the window and watching the bird (she was an infant, so I’m not sure she could even see out of the window) but after several bags of feed, it quickly became apparent that we were going to have to choose bird feed or diapers. The birds lost.
My in-laws are very into the birds. They sit on their back porch, surrounded by feeders, and watch them all day long.
We had a bird feeder when my daughter was born, because my husband was convinced she would love looking out the window and watching the bird (she was an infant, so I’m not sure she could even see out of the window) but after several bags of feed, it quickly became apparent that we were going to have to choose bird feed or diapers. The birds lost.
My in-laws are very into the birds. They sit on their back porch, surrounded by feeders, and watch them all day long.
We had a bird feeder when my daughter was born, because my husband was convinced she would love looking out the window and watching the bird (she was an infant, so I’m not sure she could even see out of the window) but after several bags of feed, it quickly became apparent that we were going to have to choose bird feed or diapers. The birds lost.
My parents AND my in-laws love bird watching, too! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
So happy your mom has an easier time moving around: that’s great!
Are you SURE you can’t make a good pot of coffee for real? I find that very hard to believe. 🙂
My parents AND my in-laws love bird watching, too! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
So happy your mom has an easier time moving around: that’s great!
Are you SURE you can’t make a good pot of coffee for real? I find that very hard to believe. 🙂
My parents AND my in-laws love bird watching, too! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
So happy your mom has an easier time moving around: that’s great!
Are you SURE you can’t make a good pot of coffee for real? I find that very hard to believe. 🙂
My parents AND my in-laws love bird watching, too! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
So happy your mom has an easier time moving around: that’s great!
Are you SURE you can’t make a good pot of coffee for real? I find that very hard to believe. 🙂
My parents AND my in-laws love bird watching, too! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
So happy your mom has an easier time moving around: that’s great!
Are you SURE you can’t make a good pot of coffee for real? I find that very hard to believe. 🙂
My parents AND my in-laws love bird watching, too! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
So happy your mom has an easier time moving around: that’s great!
Are you SURE you can’t make a good pot of coffee for real? I find that very hard to believe. 🙂
My parents AND my in-laws love bird watching, too! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
So happy your mom has an easier time moving around: that’s great!
Are you SURE you can’t make a good pot of coffee for real? I find that very hard to believe. 🙂
My parents AND my in-laws love bird watching, too! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
So happy your mom has an easier time moving around: that’s great!
Are you SURE you can’t make a good pot of coffee for real? I find that very hard to believe. 🙂
My parents AND my in-laws love bird watching, too! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
So happy your mom has an easier time moving around: that’s great!
Are you SURE you can’t make a good pot of coffee for real? I find that very hard to believe. 🙂
OMG! My dad was the same way. He actually bought bird food!
I may dislike birds now but I guess I’ll love them in my old age 😉
P.S. I can’t make coffee either. What’s the big deal there is a Starbuck on every corner. We’re fine! LOL!
OMG! My dad was the same way. He actually bought bird food!
I may dislike birds now but I guess I’ll love them in my old age 😉
P.S. I can’t make coffee either. What’s the big deal there is a Starbuck on every corner. We’re fine! LOL!
OMG! My dad was the same way. He actually bought bird food!
I may dislike birds now but I guess I’ll love them in my old age 😉
P.S. I can’t make coffee either. What’s the big deal there is a Starbuck on every corner. We’re fine! LOL!
OMG! My dad was the same way. He actually bought bird food!
I may dislike birds now but I guess I’ll love them in my old age 😉
P.S. I can’t make coffee either. What’s the big deal there is a Starbuck on every corner. We’re fine! LOL!
OMG! My dad was the same way. He actually bought bird food!
I may dislike birds now but I guess I’ll love them in my old age 😉
P.S. I can’t make coffee either. What’s the big deal there is a Starbuck on every corner. We’re fine! LOL!
OMG! My dad was the same way. He actually bought bird food!
I may dislike birds now but I guess I’ll love them in my old age 😉
P.S. I can’t make coffee either. What’s the big deal there is a Starbuck on every corner. We’re fine! LOL!
OMG! My dad was the same way. He actually bought bird food!
I may dislike birds now but I guess I’ll love them in my old age 😉
P.S. I can’t make coffee either. What’s the big deal there is a Starbuck on every corner. We’re fine! LOL!
OMG! My dad was the same way. He actually bought bird food!
I may dislike birds now but I guess I’ll love them in my old age 😉
P.S. I can’t make coffee either. What’s the big deal there is a Starbuck on every corner. We’re fine! LOL!
OMG! My dad was the same way. He actually bought bird food!
I may dislike birds now but I guess I’ll love them in my old age 😉
P.S. I can’t make coffee either. What’s the big deal there is a Starbuck on every corner. We’re fine! LOL!
Seriously, Patty — for us it's a DD on every corner AND the Welsh Farms drive-thru charges $1.75 for their medium coffee…BOOYAH!
Seriously, Patty — for us it's a DD on every corner AND the Welsh Farms drive-thru charges $1.75 for their medium coffee…BOOYAH!
Seriously, Patty — for us it's a DD on every corner AND the Welsh Farms drive-thru charges $1.75 for their medium coffee…BOOYAH!
Seriously, Patty — for us it's a DD on every corner AND the Welsh Farms drive-thru charges $1.75 for their medium coffee…BOOYAH!
Seriously, Patty — for us it's a DD on every corner AND the Welsh Farms drive-thru charges $1.75 for their medium coffee…BOOYAH!
Seriously, Patty — for us it's a DD on every corner AND the Welsh Farms drive-thru charges $1.75 for their medium coffee…BOOYAH!
Seriously, Patty — for us it's a DD on every corner AND the Welsh Farms drive-thru charges $1.75 for their medium coffee…BOOYAH!
Seriously, Patty — for us it's a DD on every corner AND the Welsh Farms drive-thru charges $1.75 for their medium coffee…BOOYAH!
Seriously, Patty — for us it's a DD on every corner AND the Welsh Farms drive-thru charges $1.75 for their medium coffee…BOOYAH!
Melisa, I kid you NOT, I can't stand my own coffee. Of course, it could be that I just enjoy the taste even more when other people make my coffee. Judging my paernts' reaction…I don't think so. Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Melisa, I kid you NOT, I can't stand my own coffee. Of course, it could be that I just enjoy the taste even more when other people make my coffee. Judging my paernts' reaction…I don't think so. Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Melisa, I kid you NOT, I can't stand my own coffee. Of course, it could be that I just enjoy the taste even more when other people make my coffee. Judging my paernts' reaction…I don't think so. Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Melisa, I kid you NOT, I can't stand my own coffee. Of course, it could be that I just enjoy the taste even more when other people make my coffee. Judging my paernts' reaction…I don't think so. Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Melisa, I kid you NOT, I can't stand my own coffee. Of course, it could be that I just enjoy the taste even more when other people make my coffee. Judging my paernts' reaction…I don't think so. Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Melisa, I kid you NOT, I can't stand my own coffee. Of course, it could be that I just enjoy the taste even more when other people make my coffee. Judging my paernts' reaction…I don't think so. Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Melisa, I kid you NOT, I can't stand my own coffee. Of course, it could be that I just enjoy the taste even more when other people make my coffee. Judging my paernts' reaction…I don't think so. Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Melisa, I kid you NOT, I can't stand my own coffee. Of course, it could be that I just enjoy the taste even more when other people make my coffee. Judging my paernts' reaction…I don't think so. Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Melisa, I kid you NOT, I can't stand my own coffee. Of course, it could be that I just enjoy the taste even more when other people make my coffee. Judging my paernts' reaction…I don't think so. Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Exactly, Tracie. However, the sentiment was absolutely awesome.
Exactly, Tracie. However, the sentiment was absolutely awesome.
Exactly, Tracie. However, the sentiment was absolutely awesome.
Exactly, Tracie. However, the sentiment was absolutely awesome.
Exactly, Tracie. However, the sentiment was absolutely awesome.
Exactly, Tracie. However, the sentiment was absolutely awesome.
Exactly, Tracie. However, the sentiment was absolutely awesome.
Exactly, Tracie. However, the sentiment was absolutely awesome.
Exactly, Tracie. However, the sentiment was absolutely awesome.