I have suffered from insomnia for most of my life (yes, that is a very long time, I know, shuddup!) however, rather than fight it, I see it as a gift and make all of those extra sleepless hours as productive as possible.
PSYCHE!!!!!!!
Bwahahahahahahaha…I crack myself up…you seriously did NOT think I was serious, seriously, right?!?
The ONLY thing productive at dark o'clock is the gerbil, running its eleventy-hundreth little iron gerbil marathon, inside my head.
It's not like I'm not tired, either. In fact, my body clock quits work sometime around 4 in the afternoon and my eyes punch out no later than that really, really great television series EVERYBODY has been talking about and I've been dying to watch…DAMMIT.
For example: last night, there was something on television I wanted to watch (of course I can't remember, for the life of me, what it was, but that's not really all that important at his juncture of my insomnia story) so, I went upstairs to get my glasses.
I had to lie across the bed to reach them. Aaaaaand, well, I never got up. Or, came back downstairs. Until I had to go pee at dark o'clock.
Did I mention, our bathroom is downstairs and way across the OTHER end of the house?!?
By the time I got back upstairs, the gerbil inside my head had already finished with its warm-up exercises and I began to rearrange the ENTIRE floor plan (of the house, not my head) in my head.
So, I did what any red-blooded insomniac would do: I hit Facebook…HARD!…and a really funny (not ha-ha-funny, but more like, hmmmmm…interesting) thing occurred to me.
I am NOT the only one awake at dark o'clock. I see Kim, Jenn and Elizabeth.
That reminds me. Does anyone remember the magic mirror?!? Gosh, but I used to LOVE that show. Even though the magic mirror NEVER saw me…DAMMIT!
[sound of crickets, chirping]
I see Robyn. Oh, and I see my friend Lisa…YO!!!!…was up at the SAME exact time I am, right now.
"If asleep by 9, awake at 3:39." Did Ben Franklin write that…
So, I commented with something like, good morning, because I am ALL witty AND original like that, especially at dark o'clock.
"Hi Liz! I wish I could vacuum…"
And then I snorted…REALLY LOUD…and, well, I better go before Garth (not his real name) wakes up and I have to pretend like it was the house farting, or something…SNORT!!!
[cringe]
Dammit.
© 2003 – 2013 This Full House
Comments
36 responses to “It’s All Fun and Games, Until the Clowns Show Up”
I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan….or a chamber pot. I think it’s the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem 🙂
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.
I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan….or a chamber pot. I think it’s the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem 🙂
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.
I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan….or a chamber pot. I think it’s the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem 🙂
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.
I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan….or a chamber pot. I think it’s the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem 🙂
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.
I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan….or a chamber pot. I think it’s the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem 🙂
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.
I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan….or a chamber pot. I think it’s the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem 🙂
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.
I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan….or a chamber pot. I think it’s the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem 🙂
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.
I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan….or a chamber pot. I think it’s the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem 🙂
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.
I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan….or a chamber pot. I think it’s the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem 🙂
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.
It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go. Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?
It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go. Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?
It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go. Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?
It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go. Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?
It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go. Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?
It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go. Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?
It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go. Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?
It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go. Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?
It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go. Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?
Don’t worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.
Don’t worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.
Don’t worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.
Don’t worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.
Don’t worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.
Don’t worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.
Don’t worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.
Don’t worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.
Don’t worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.
I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn’t recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.
I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn’t recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.
I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn’t recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.
I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn’t recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.
I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn’t recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.
I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn’t recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.
I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn’t recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.
I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn’t recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.
I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn’t recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.