My husband's niece is getting married in two weeks and the kids are ALL invited to, what they've begun to very dramatically refer to as, "the wedding".
They also get to witness their father (you know, my husband) officiate over "the wedding".
Garth (not his real name) recently became an ordained minister (because his niece and her future husband asked him to) and for $25, or something like that, so can you!!!
[ducks to avoid lightning bolt]
Aaaaanyway, the kids CANNOT wait to be able to say, "That's our dad, Reverend Garth (not his real name) up there!" even if it is for just one day.
In other words, "the wedding": is a very BIG deal.
I thought it would be nice to have each of us write a letter to Amy and Jim, expressing our gratitude for allowing ALL of us to celebrate their wedding…I mean, "the wedding"…together.
So, I searched the interwebs for some ideas and…holy hints from Heloise…I couldn't help but feel like an old fart (or a seasoned flatulent, for those with verbal sensitivities) especially, when reading newlywed advice like, "How to Show Your Husband You Love Him".
After 20+ years of marriage (which is almost as long as when we were single, YO!) I'm all like, we still married?!? GOOD!!!
Still, I wish some seasoned flatulent would come up with practical marriage advice.
[one beat, two beats]
So, you want to see MY list? Based on actual advice, for newlyweds, I found published on the interwebs:
Display your marriage certificate: actually, this IS pretty practical advice; after twenty years or so, it will be a great way to remember each other's names.
Leave messages "in lipstick" on the mirror and toilet: or just don't bother wiping off all the toothpaste spittle, because the fact that you ARE even bothering to brush your teeth is quite thoughtful and there will come a day when you'll BOTH be thankful…you know…to have any teeth, at all, even.
Wake him up with kisses: after you've brushed your teeth (see previous paragraph) of course!
Have a pillow fight and see how long you can last without laughing: or just wait a couple of years and you'll be all…ROFLMAO!!!…at the mere suggestion of instigating any sort of fight, on purpose.
Come up with a few code words to use in public that only you and he will understand: or just wait a few years (or twenty) and it will happen on its own, plus no one will know what the frig either of you is talking about, anyway.
Put a sign in your yard "Best Husband in the World Lives Here": IF you want to alienate your neighbors, have local teens toilet paper your house and set your future children up for endless ridicule…g'head…I triple-dog dare ya!
Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).
Verbally show your appreciation in front of family and friends: or just tongue-kiss him at the next dinner party and they will definitely appreciate your NOT showing up for Thanksgiving (you're welcome!)
Wash his car for him: or just pull it out of the garage for him, the next time it's raining.
Eat an ice cream cone together: and by this I'm assuming that he's got his own ice cream cone, because…HELLO!!!…ICE CREAM!!!…also, brain freeze kills.
Don't be a pessimist: slowly introduce him to your being a "fascist", instead.
Keep yourself attractive: while you can, because eventually it won't matter — especially, if you have children and both your eyes are mostly crusted over from sleep deprivation, anyway. Trust me, he'll understand, you prettiful little fascist you 🙂
Run your fingers through his hair: while you can.
Let him win: and by this I'm assuming an argument, because ain't nobody got no time for no games, especially when there's a television in the room and only one remote.
Checking before throwing things away: you never know when you'll come across a couple of extra bucks, because…HELLO!!!…DUNKIN' DONUTS!!!…finders keepers, et al.
Start a love journal: or a blog, especially after you've had kids.
This blog post being one of the many reasons why Amy and Jim did NOT ask me to marry them — smart kids!!!
© 2003 – 2013 This Full House
With a fan page on Facebook and everything!
Comments
153 responses to “Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him: Then, There’s MY List!”
I love my husband, but he sure as hell better have his own ice cream cone.
I love my husband, but he sure as hell better have his own ice cream cone.
I love my husband, but he sure as hell better have his own ice cream cone.
I love my husband, but he sure as hell better have his own ice cream cone.
I love my husband, but he sure as hell better have his own ice cream cone.
I love my husband, but he sure as hell better have his own ice cream cone.
I love my husband, but he sure as hell better have his own ice cream cone.
I love my husband, but he sure as hell better have his own ice cream cone.
I love my husband, but he sure as hell better have his own ice cream cone.
Aaaaaaand, I know for a fact, that you are NOT even kidding, Shannon 🙂
Aaaaaaand, I know for a fact, that you are NOT even kidding, Shannon 🙂
Aaaaaaand, I know for a fact, that you are NOT even kidding, Shannon 🙂
Aaaaaaand, I know for a fact, that you are NOT even kidding, Shannon 🙂
Aaaaaaand, I know for a fact, that you are NOT even kidding, Shannon 🙂
Aaaaaaand, I know for a fact, that you are NOT even kidding, Shannon 🙂
Aaaaaaand, I know for a fact, that you are NOT even kidding, Shannon 🙂
Aaaaaaand, I know for a fact, that you are NOT even kidding, Shannon 🙂
Aaaaaaand, I know for a fact, that you are NOT even kidding, Shannon 🙂
Ha! I do believe your advice is much more practical. Although on the fingers through the hair thing, well I didn’t ever get to do that. My husband was already a baldy when we met.
Ha! I do believe your advice is much more practical. Although on the fingers through the hair thing, well I didn’t ever get to do that. My husband was already a baldy when we met.
Ha! I do believe your advice is much more practical. Although on the fingers through the hair thing, well I didn’t ever get to do that. My husband was already a baldy when we met.
Ha! I do believe your advice is much more practical. Although on the fingers through the hair thing, well I didn’t ever get to do that. My husband was already a baldy when we met.
Ha! I do believe your advice is much more practical. Although on the fingers through the hair thing, well I didn’t ever get to do that. My husband was already a baldy when we met.
Ha! I do believe your advice is much more practical. Although on the fingers through the hair thing, well I didn’t ever get to do that. My husband was already a baldy when we met.
Ha! I do believe your advice is much more practical. Although on the fingers through the hair thing, well I didn’t ever get to do that. My husband was already a baldy when we met.
Ha! I do believe your advice is much more practical. Although on the fingers through the hair thing, well I didn’t ever get to do that. My husband was already a baldy when we met.
Ha! I do believe your advice is much more practical. Although on the fingers through the hair thing, well I didn’t ever get to do that. My husband was already a baldy when we met.
Should add an addendum to that one: hair is highly-overrated. Thanks, Beth 🙂
Should add an addendum to that one: hair is highly-overrated. Thanks, Beth 🙂
Should add an addendum to that one: hair is highly-overrated. Thanks, Beth 🙂
Should add an addendum to that one: hair is highly-overrated. Thanks, Beth 🙂
Should add an addendum to that one: hair is highly-overrated. Thanks, Beth 🙂
Should add an addendum to that one: hair is highly-overrated. Thanks, Beth 🙂
Should add an addendum to that one: hair is highly-overrated. Thanks, Beth 🙂
Should add an addendum to that one: hair is highly-overrated. Thanks, Beth 🙂
Should add an addendum to that one: hair is highly-overrated. Thanks, Beth 🙂
I LOVE THIS. All of it. Especially this:
“Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).”
SERIOUSLY.
I LOVE THIS. All of it. Especially this:
“Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).”
SERIOUSLY.
I LOVE THIS. All of it. Especially this:
“Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).”
SERIOUSLY.
I LOVE THIS. All of it. Especially this:
“Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).”
SERIOUSLY.
I LOVE THIS. All of it. Especially this:
“Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).”
SERIOUSLY.
I LOVE THIS. All of it. Especially this:
“Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).”
SERIOUSLY.
I LOVE THIS. All of it. Especially this:
“Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).”
SERIOUSLY.
I LOVE THIS. All of it. Especially this:
“Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).”
SERIOUSLY.
I LOVE THIS. All of it. Especially this:
“Make love under the stars: ROFLMAO (see previous paragraph).”
SERIOUSLY.
Making love under the stars sounds so romantic. Bug bites in places you’d rather not have bug bites doesn’t. I’ll work on a different way to show my husband I love hime! 🙂
Making love under the stars sounds so romantic. Bug bites in places you’d rather not have bug bites doesn’t. I’ll work on a different way to show my husband I love hime! 🙂
Making love under the stars sounds so romantic. Bug bites in places you’d rather not have bug bites doesn’t. I’ll work on a different way to show my husband I love hime! 🙂
Making love under the stars sounds so romantic. Bug bites in places you’d rather not have bug bites doesn’t. I’ll work on a different way to show my husband I love hime! 🙂
Making love under the stars sounds so romantic. Bug bites in places you’d rather not have bug bites doesn’t. I’ll work on a different way to show my husband I love hime! 🙂
Making love under the stars sounds so romantic. Bug bites in places you’d rather not have bug bites doesn’t. I’ll work on a different way to show my husband I love hime! 🙂
Making love under the stars sounds so romantic. Bug bites in places you’d rather not have bug bites doesn’t. I’ll work on a different way to show my husband I love hime! 🙂
Making love under the stars sounds so romantic. Bug bites in places you’d rather not have bug bites doesn’t. I’ll work on a different way to show my husband I love hime! 🙂
Making love under the stars sounds so romantic. Bug bites in places you’d rather not have bug bites doesn’t. I’ll work on a different way to show my husband I love hime! 🙂
Or him
Or him
Or him
Or him
Or him
Or him
Or him
Or him
Or him
OMG, totally forgot about the mosquitoes!!! Thanks for the reminder, Joan…heh 🙂
OMG, totally forgot about the mosquitoes!!! Thanks for the reminder, Joan…heh 🙂
OMG, totally forgot about the mosquitoes!!! Thanks for the reminder, Joan…heh 🙂
OMG, totally forgot about the mosquitoes!!! Thanks for the reminder, Joan…heh 🙂
OMG, totally forgot about the mosquitoes!!! Thanks for the reminder, Joan…heh 🙂
OMG, totally forgot about the mosquitoes!!! Thanks for the reminder, Joan…heh 🙂
OMG, totally forgot about the mosquitoes!!! Thanks for the reminder, Joan…heh 🙂
OMG, totally forgot about the mosquitoes!!! Thanks for the reminder, Joan…heh 🙂
OMG, totally forgot about the mosquitoes!!! Thanks for the reminder, Joan…heh 🙂
Haha, thats some great advice, I should show this to my wife!
Haha, thats some great advice, I should show this to my wife!
Haha, thats some great advice, I should show this to my wife!
Haha, thats some great advice, I should show this to my wife!
Haha, thats some great advice, I should show this to my wife!
Haha, thats some great advice, I should show this to my wife!
Haha, thats some great advice, I should show this to my wife!
Haha, thats some great advice, I should show this to my wife!
Haha, thats some great advice, I should show this to my wife!
Haha, that’s great although I’m not so sure about the fingers through the hair part because my husband puts too much gel in his hair. If I get all up in that it-sh, my hand will come out all sticky with gel, not really a romantic scene.
Haha, that’s great although I’m not so sure about the fingers through the hair part because my husband puts too much gel in his hair. If I get all up in that it-sh, my hand will come out all sticky with gel, not really a romantic scene.
Haha, that’s great although I’m not so sure about the fingers through the hair part because my husband puts too much gel in his hair. If I get all up in that it-sh, my hand will come out all sticky with gel, not really a romantic scene.
Haha, that’s great although I’m not so sure about the fingers through the hair part because my husband puts too much gel in his hair. If I get all up in that it-sh, my hand will come out all sticky with gel, not really a romantic scene.
Haha, that’s great although I’m not so sure about the fingers through the hair part because my husband puts too much gel in his hair. If I get all up in that it-sh, my hand will come out all sticky with gel, not really a romantic scene.
Haha, that’s great although I’m not so sure about the fingers through the hair part because my husband puts too much gel in his hair. If I get all up in that it-sh, my hand will come out all sticky with gel, not really a romantic scene.
Haha, that’s great although I’m not so sure about the fingers through the hair part because my husband puts too much gel in his hair. If I get all up in that it-sh, my hand will come out all sticky with gel, not really a romantic scene.
Haha, that’s great although I’m not so sure about the fingers through the hair part because my husband puts too much gel in his hair. If I get all up in that it-sh, my hand will come out all sticky with gel, not really a romantic scene.
Haha, that’s great although I’m not so sure about the fingers through the hair part because my husband puts too much gel in his hair. If I get all up in that it-sh, my hand will come out all sticky with gel, not really a romantic scene.
Huh, this is pretty interesting. I should show this to my wife and see what she does next! HA! Well, I wonder if there’s one for men, you know, how to show your wife you love her.
Huh, this is pretty interesting. I should show this to my wife and see what she does next! HA! Well, I wonder if there’s one for men, you know, how to show your wife you love her.
Huh, this is pretty interesting. I should show this to my wife and see what she does next! HA! Well, I wonder if there’s one for men, you know, how to show your wife you love her.
Huh, this is pretty interesting. I should show this to my wife and see what she does next! HA! Well, I wonder if there’s one for men, you know, how to show your wife you love her.
Huh, this is pretty interesting. I should show this to my wife and see what she does next! HA! Well, I wonder if there’s one for men, you know, how to show your wife you love her.
Huh, this is pretty interesting. I should show this to my wife and see what she does next! HA! Well, I wonder if there’s one for men, you know, how to show your wife you love her.
Huh, this is pretty interesting. I should show this to my wife and see what she does next! HA! Well, I wonder if there’s one for men, you know, how to show your wife you love her.
Huh, this is pretty interesting. I should show this to my wife and see what she does next! HA! Well, I wonder if there’s one for men, you know, how to show your wife you love her.
Huh, this is pretty interesting. I should show this to my wife and see what she does next! HA! Well, I wonder if there’s one for men, you know, how to show your wife you love her.
Hm, great advice, maybe I should show this to my fiancee after we get married 😉
Hm, great advice, maybe I should show this to my fiancee after we get married 😉
Hm, great advice, maybe I should show this to my fiancee after we get married 😉
Hm, great advice, maybe I should show this to my fiancee after we get married 😉
Hm, great advice, maybe I should show this to my fiancee after we get married 😉
Hm, great advice, maybe I should show this to my fiancee after we get married 😉
Hm, great advice, maybe I should show this to my fiancee after we get married 😉
Hm, great advice, maybe I should show this to my fiancee after we get married 😉
Hm, great advice, maybe I should show this to my fiancee after we get married 😉
Congratulations on your 20+ years of marriage! You must be doing something right.
Congratulations on your 20+ years of marriage! You must be doing something right.
Congratulations on your 20+ years of marriage! You must be doing something right.
Congratulations on your 20+ years of marriage! You must be doing something right.
Congratulations on your 20+ years of marriage! You must be doing something right.
Congratulations on your 20+ years of marriage! You must be doing something right.
Congratulations on your 20+ years of marriage! You must be doing something right.
Congratulations on your 20+ years of marriage! You must be doing something right.
Congratulations on your 20+ years of marriage! You must be doing something right.
This is hilarious. Your advice is totally nuts. Well, I don’t know if this works but I will give it a try. Damn!
This is hilarious. Your advice is totally nuts. Well, I don’t know if this works but I will give it a try. Damn!
This is hilarious. Your advice is totally nuts. Well, I don’t know if this works but I will give it a try. Damn!
This is hilarious. Your advice is totally nuts. Well, I don’t know if this works but I will give it a try. Damn!
This is hilarious. Your advice is totally nuts. Well, I don’t know if this works but I will give it a try. Damn!
This is hilarious. Your advice is totally nuts. Well, I don’t know if this works but I will give it a try. Damn!
This is hilarious. Your advice is totally nuts. Well, I don’t know if this works but I will give it a try. Damn!
This is hilarious. Your advice is totally nuts. Well, I don’t know if this works but I will give it a try. Damn!
This is hilarious. Your advice is totally nuts. Well, I don’t know if this works but I will give it a try. Damn!
Wow! I like these tips! I wish I could experience making love under the stars! LOL! 😀
Wow! I like these tips! I wish I could experience making love under the stars! LOL! 😀
Wow! I like these tips! I wish I could experience making love under the stars! LOL! 😀
Wow! I like these tips! I wish I could experience making love under the stars! LOL! 😀
Wow! I like these tips! I wish I could experience making love under the stars! LOL! 😀
Wow! I like these tips! I wish I could experience making love under the stars! LOL! 😀
Wow! I like these tips! I wish I could experience making love under the stars! LOL! 😀
Wow! I like these tips! I wish I could experience making love under the stars! LOL! 😀
Wow! I like these tips! I wish I could experience making love under the stars! LOL! 😀
Some funny sounding ideas that can actually keep the spark alive. I think the pillow fight idea is just classic. Sometimes it is important to keep the kid in you alive and anyway pillow fights can be a lot of fun 🙂
Some funny sounding ideas that can actually keep the spark alive. I think the pillow fight idea is just classic. Sometimes it is important to keep the kid in you alive and anyway pillow fights can be a lot of fun 🙂
Some funny sounding ideas that can actually keep the spark alive. I think the pillow fight idea is just classic. Sometimes it is important to keep the kid in you alive and anyway pillow fights can be a lot of fun 🙂
Some funny sounding ideas that can actually keep the spark alive. I think the pillow fight idea is just classic. Sometimes it is important to keep the kid in you alive and anyway pillow fights can be a lot of fun 🙂
Some funny sounding ideas that can actually keep the spark alive. I think the pillow fight idea is just classic. Sometimes it is important to keep the kid in you alive and anyway pillow fights can be a lot of fun 🙂
Some funny sounding ideas that can actually keep the spark alive. I think the pillow fight idea is just classic. Sometimes it is important to keep the kid in you alive and anyway pillow fights can be a lot of fun 🙂
Some funny sounding ideas that can actually keep the spark alive. I think the pillow fight idea is just classic. Sometimes it is important to keep the kid in you alive and anyway pillow fights can be a lot of fun 🙂
Some funny sounding ideas that can actually keep the spark alive. I think the pillow fight idea is just classic. Sometimes it is important to keep the kid in you alive and anyway pillow fights can be a lot of fun 🙂
Some funny sounding ideas that can actually keep the spark alive. I think the pillow fight idea is just classic. Sometimes it is important to keep the kid in you alive and anyway pillow fights can be a lot of fun 🙂
This is a great list! I will definitely try some of these. It seems fun! I wish it will work out for me. 🙂
This is a great list! I will definitely try some of these. It seems fun! I wish it will work out for me. 🙂
This is a great list! I will definitely try some of these. It seems fun! I wish it will work out for me. 🙂
This is a great list! I will definitely try some of these. It seems fun! I wish it will work out for me. 🙂
This is a great list! I will definitely try some of these. It seems fun! I wish it will work out for me. 🙂
This is a great list! I will definitely try some of these. It seems fun! I wish it will work out for me. 🙂
This is a great list! I will definitely try some of these. It seems fun! I wish it will work out for me. 🙂
This is a great list! I will definitely try some of these. It seems fun! I wish it will work out for me. 🙂
This is a great list! I will definitely try some of these. It seems fun! I wish it will work out for me. 🙂