The value and importance of romance in a marriage goes through many changes over the years and often times can and — along with spontaneous sex – does take a back seat and is reduced to drive-by meetings in a school parking lot and waving at each other from the other side of the driveway.
[sighs deeply]
I’m pretty sure that — and perhaps most parents will agree – though it’s sometimes hard to find the magic, one should never take a good old fashioned “quickie” for granted, either!
Screw seven minutes in heaven…give me at least five…and I’m good.
But, there are those moments — when kids are in bed, the dishes are done, the cats and dog are down and the moon’s allignment with the shifting tides coincides with our moods — when time and space seems to stop and we have the best gosh-darned lovemaking session, EVUH!
[and the crowd cheers]
That’s when we’re banging cowbell, BABY!
[takes a bow]
And then there are those times –Â as few and far in between as they may be –Â when you’d do it, just for the new set of cherry stainless steel knives and an entire set of stainless steel flatware.
[shivers up and down]
“Are you done, Ma’am?”
I smiled at the cashier as IÂ pushed my carriage toward her register, blew the bangs out of my eyes and mumbled, “Oh yah, I am so done!”
[ca-ching]
“That’ll be $$; will that be cash, or charge?”
[hearing the faint sounds of cowbell]
“I swear, honey…I’m just going to look…not buying a thing…nope. Shit. Now he’ll expect to get laid, no doubt!”
The cashier was sweet, but, she also happened to be a Mom I knew from the neighborhood and I smiled uncomfortably and silently asked myself for the one-millionth time, “Did I say that outloud?”
Shit.
So, I spent money — that we didn’t have – but after sixteen years, you think I’d deserve matching spoons and forks and knives that actually friggin’ cut something.
And — though I know he loves me and is a good and devoted father to our children – my husband would expect a little something-something in return.
Not very romantic, I know, but…hey!…it works for me. So, he won’t even notice, not until this weekend and by that time, I’ll be ready for him.
“Hey, Dad…did you see what Mom got, today!?!”
I couldn’t believe it — my son ratted me out — once the kids were in bed, and not until I got home from the girl scout leader meeting, I would have to thank my husband and squeeze in a quickie, even though I was wicked tired; but…hey!…at least I freed up my weekend!
[wild applause]
Why?
Because I am the good wife and you can’t have too much cow bell…you know!?!?
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Comments
9 responses to “It’s Still Love…Only Now With A Little Less Romance And A Lot More Cow Bell”
So, I’m not the only one?
Whew!
LMAO Sounds like we had the same day only I bought bowls. How do you loose bowls? Now that I think about it, I think my dh prob hid them knowing what the end result would be lol
*completely out of breath for laughing so hard*
You said it girl… romance is overrated. Give me a new set of knives and a cowbell-banging session with my hubby and I’m a happy woman. LOL!
ROFLOL…..after 22 years of marriage, my cow bell knows when to work it when needed…LOL
So glad I’m not the only one! 😉
Damn, I’m sorry, I stumbled onto a sort of “sisterhood of the travelling pants” of blogdom. I feel kinda outta place having a penis and everything.
But if all it would take is some silverware or a set of bowls? I’d be all over it. Shit I bought her a new minivan and barely got a kiss out of the deal. I must be doing something wrong.
Pretty funny stuff. And the bad, bad me is dying to say…”gee, Ben, you coulda got a threesome out of a minivan if you’d played your cards right…”, but I won’t. ‘Cause that would just be mean.
Never used the cowbell analogy. But it’s a crack up. Thanks for sharing!! Hope the new flatware works out for ya!
Tammy – the van’s still almost new! To us, at least.
*shuffling his cards*
You know what they say…”Will put out for new flatware!” LOL You do deserve matchy matchy utensils girlfriend! Heck, I got excited over a carpet shampooer for Christmas.
Wow, I had to use google to find you, and then it wasn’t you but your shadow from two months ago, what gives woman? I mean, honestly, I am proud of you switching over to wordpress and all, but I feel all discombobuwhatever! I won’t say I’m back, I will say hello and hope everyone is doing well, hope we can do the train ride soon with all the kids.