No – I’ve been very good at keeping appointments and haven’t missed my period (knocking on wood) lately – I’m not talking about that sort of late. I mean, having to adjust the clocks ten minutes ahead and becoming the type of mom who has grown accustomed to planning everything….at the last possible second.
I call it, “Hail Mary Parenting,” incorporating a game plan that includes very little planning, as possible.
Oh, I never used to be like this – heck, I even had our greeting card and grocery list computerized (B.I. – before internet) – I kept a daily to do list for nearly every aspect of family life.
Parties?
[snort]
Man, I could “theme” the hell outta any occassion with a “master plan” in mind worthy of a global invasion – think of Martha Stewart meets Atilla the Hun…on acid – that included everything from cleaning the house, planting the backyard and shopping (sometimes for days) for every exoctic herb and spice known to…well…heaven forbid Martha gave a recipe that included the word, “imitation” or sold in mega-size at Costco!
Then, I had children.
And then, more children.
And holy crap, if things didn’t change soon…I was either going to lose a limb, suffer some sort of permanent damage tripping over myself or perhaps even killing myself with a friggin’ glue gun!
That would so NOT BE, “a good thing.”
So, I’ve learned to accept the fact that – no matter whatever the effort – there will always be, something.
A sick kid; a pinhead dog that insists on eating things, that it shouldn’t, and declaring an emergency evacution of all bodily fluids at the most inopportune times and in the most difficult of places; backed-up drains; exploding toilets; imploding banking accounts.Â
You name it and I’ve probably stepped in it, sat on it, driven into it, jumped over it or had it thrown at me – from all directions.
Hence, my new mommy-mantra: If it ain’t broke, it soon will be…so…fugghettaboutit!
And I did.
“Momma…bee-member what today is?”
[eyes go wide]
“Uh, let’s see…”
[runs to calendar and nearly breaks a leg jumping over vaccum cleaner]
“Well, you don’t graduate preschool until tomorrow…and you’re birthday is tomorrow…um…Momma has to clean, shop, cook and cut the grass for the barbecue on Saturday…um…nope, I’ve got nuttin’, honey!”
[hands on hips]
“GAH…it’s Silly Hat Day…silly!”
Shit.
[Says a quick Hail Mary and hits the dress-ups trunk and craft box]
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Phew…see, I told you…and I don’t think I could have made her look any cuter, if I had a week to plan!
Â
Plus, we had a lot of fun doing it and still have an hour to spare!
And I only burned two fingers — now, that’s A GOOD THING! — eat your heart out, Martha baby…and chill-out, Atilla…it’s gonna be a good day!
[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]
Comments
14 responses to “If I were any more late, I’d be pregnant!”
First of all, happy early birthday to your girl! That hat is too cute. There’s always time for a spontaneous dress-up party. Secod, I hope your hand is OK. Ouch! And third, I try to make my motto “Roll with it baby,” because if I don’t, I’ll get run over!
First of all, happy early birthday to your girl! That hat is too cute. There’s always time for a spontaneous dress-up party. Secod, I hope your hand is OK. Ouch! And third, I try to make my motto “Roll with it baby,” because if I don’t, I’ll get run over!
Ouch, I hope your fingers are ok.
No matter what the occasion, No matter how far in advance I start planning and preparing, always on the night before when I’m up at 11:30pm still preparing I think “If I just had one more day I would have everything done”. Never mind setting my clocks 10 minutes fast, I should change my callendar!
Ouch, I hope your fingers are ok.
No matter what the occasion, No matter how far in advance I start planning and preparing, always on the night before when I’m up at 11:30pm still preparing I think “If I just had one more day I would have everything done”. Never mind setting my clocks 10 minutes fast, I should change my callendar!
Remember a while back, you had that post about the person that said you couldn’t give enough attention to more than two kids? (or something like that). Remember that clown? Remember how it made you question things and yourself?
Well, now you can (literally or just in your head) take that pretty little “Crazy Hat” shove it up… (I won’t finish that since this is a family blog).
Your kids have an awesome mom!
Remember a while back, you had that post about the person that said you couldn’t give enough attention to more than two kids? (or something like that). Remember that clown? Remember how it made you question things and yourself?
Well, now you can (literally or just in your head) take that pretty little “Crazy Hat” shove it up… (I won’t finish that since this is a family blog).
Your kids have an awesome mom!
My name is Casey and I work for a interactive DVD games company in Santa Monica, CA called Snap TV. We make educational games for children and are also working with Scholastic to release Clifford and I Spy games in the fall. If you would like to check us out our website is http://www.snaptvgames.com I am looking to see if you would be interested in a program we are working on? I will send you our games and in return you play with your children and talk about them to your other friends or on your blog. Is this something you would be interested in? Here is my email if you would like to participate ccarver@snaptvgames.com, I look forward to hearing from you!
Best,
Casey Carver
My name is Casey and I work for a interactive DVD games company in Santa Monica, CA called Snap TV. We make educational games for children and are also working with Scholastic to release Clifford and I Spy games in the fall. If you would like to check us out our website is http://www.snaptvgames.com I am looking to see if you would be interested in a program we are working on? I will send you our games and in return you play with your children and talk about them to your other friends or on your blog. Is this something you would be interested in? Here is my email if you would like to participate ccarver@snaptvgames.com, I look forward to hearing from you!
Best,
Casey Carver
Speaking of pinhead dogs who eat things that they shouldn’t- Petey just threw up an intact elastic band and orange tennis ball fuzz this afternoon.
Happy early Birthday Mini-Me!! 😀
Nat and Petey
Speaking of pinhead dogs who eat things that they shouldn’t- Petey just threw up an intact elastic band and orange tennis ball fuzz this afternoon.
Happy early Birthday Mini-Me!! 😀
Nat and Petey
Whew … you are good and I am humbled by your skills. I don’t think I will let any of my girls see this post, ledt they might think I am equally capable of.
So glad I stopped by!
mamak
Whew … you are good and I am humbled by your skills. I don’t think I will let any of my girls see this post, ledt they might think I am equally capable of.
So glad I stopped by!
mamak
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