My youngest daughter – #4 on the kiddie food chain – started kindergarten in September and most of my friends (and even some family members) were very surprised to learn that I was finally home alone and, you know, happy.
What?
Oh.
No, I’m not a sad person by nature – in fact, some would say that I am, you know, annoyingly upbeat – but, I think most people assumed that I would be, you know, a basket case – curled up in a ball, swaying back and forth and wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my life.
And they’d be right, if it weren’t for all the stupid laundry.
But, a funny thing happened on that fateful day – besides the collective sigh of relief all parents experience on the first day of school, of course – I left home.
I mean, not for good – eventually, I did go back to the house – I just haven’t, you know, felt the same, ever since.
How?
I don’t know.
I guess the easiest way to explain it to anyone – who doesn’t understand what the heck it is I’m rambling on about, now, Liz? – is that I don’t feel bad about not having to explain myself, anymore.
I’m done.
No, I don’t think my job is over – as anyone with kids (no matter what age) will tell you – far from it!
It’s just that some things don’t bother me as much, like other parents, as they used to.
Like, not feeling like I have to volunteer for every little thing, send in goodie bags, attend every meeting, take down Christmas before Valentine’s Day and whether or not the laundry gets, you know, done.
Nope, doesn’t bother me.
What does?
People who ask me, if it does.
I just want to, you know, give them the finger. I can’t help it; guess I’ve sorta grown used to walking around – especially these last couple of months – with a proverbial chip on my shoulder and answering about a bazillion people who have asked:
Yes – I believe in birth control.
No – We don’t have lots of money.
Yes – I have lots and lots of laundry.
No – I did not plan on having so much, or so many.
Yes – I would like to have another child.
No – I do not want to be pregnant, again.
Yes – I have lots and lots of guilt.
No – My life is not perfect.
Yes – I am happy.
What? – spare time, are you kidding me?
No, this isn’t a diary of a mad mommy – although, my kids would probably recognize some sort of a resemblance – but, there may be a thing or two that still, you know, sort of pisses me off, a little.
“Are you okay?”
Ask any mother that and she’ll most likely hesitate (and even frown a little bit) before answering, but I honestly was taken by surprise and couldn’t help but, you know, just stare.
“I mean, your Christmas lights are still up and your car is always in the driveway.”
[still staring]
“Is someone sick?”
Since September?
“Oh…uh…no, I mean…yes…I’m okay…um…the kids were sick…but, you know…not now…but, I’m home…working…and…well, it just started getting cold…and the snow, finally…you know…um…the lights look so pretty, don’t they?!?!”
Alrighty, then.
[hides hands under desk]
Nope, it’s not over – I’ve obviously still got lots to learn – but, this is where I spend most of my day, you know, working, and – although it is a bit of mess, right now – I am very content, happy and…
.
.
…what the…is that?
.
.
Yes – it seems that one of my children has left mommy a little present – and, NOPE, it’s doesn’t bother me.
Not a bit.
Because I know – my kids should be very, very happy they’re all in school, right now!
Comments
27 responses to “Hump Day Diddy Dumbs: I’m about ready to kick some butt and chew bubblegum, and my kid’s aren’t even home, yet!”
You’re so funny, you remind me of my mom. I watched her do the laundry one day and she was checking pockets and found a batch of fish eggs in my brother’s jeans that had been ripening for days. She laughed and thought it was kind of funny (in a gross way) while I swore I’d never have sons. I’ve changed a bit since then, but sometimes I have to remind myself that some things just don’t matter.
You’re so funny, you remind me of my mom. I watched her do the laundry one day and she was checking pockets and found a batch of fish eggs in my brother’s jeans that had been ripening for days. She laughed and thought it was kind of funny (in a gross way) while I swore I’d never have sons. I’ve changed a bit since then, but sometimes I have to remind myself that some things just don’t matter.
You’re so funny, you remind me of my mom. I watched her do the laundry one day and she was checking pockets and found a batch of fish eggs in my brother’s jeans that had been ripening for days. She laughed and thought it was kind of funny (in a gross way) while I swore I’d never have sons. I’ve changed a bit since then, but sometimes I have to remind myself that some things just don’t matter.
Hey happiness is where you find it! And look at what wonderful presents your children leave for you. 😉
…I don’t feel bad about not having to explain myself, anymore.
Yea you.
Hey happiness is where you find it! And look at what wonderful presents your children leave for you. 😉
…I don’t feel bad about not having to explain myself, anymore.
Yea you.
Hey happiness is where you find it! And look at what wonderful presents your children leave for you. 😉
…I don’t feel bad about not having to explain myself, anymore.
Yea you.
people are strange aren’t they with the questions they ask sometimes.
Only four though, thats not a lot. These people should come out here where families with 12 kids are not uncommon!
people are strange aren’t they with the questions they ask sometimes.
Only four though, thats not a lot. These people should come out here where families with 12 kids are not uncommon!
people are strange aren’t they with the questions they ask sometimes.
Only four though, thats not a lot. These people should come out here where families with 12 kids are not uncommon!
Hey – at least it’s not a booger..
Hey – at least it’s not a booger..
Hey – at least it’s not a booger..
Surviving Motherhood’s comment really hit home – she lives in Lapland (Northern Europe), btw – why are we so hard on ourselves? Most of my immediate relatives live in Eastern Europe and, I swear, do not worry about, you know, such things.
Oh, and Kate – EW! – no, they save those presents for me on the bathroom walls!
Surviving Motherhood’s comment really hit home – she lives in Lapland (Northern Europe), btw – why are we so hard on ourselves? Most of my immediate relatives live in Eastern Europe and, I swear, do not worry about, you know, such things.
Oh, and Kate – EW! – no, they save those presents for me on the bathroom walls!
Surviving Motherhood’s comment really hit home – she lives in Lapland (Northern Europe), btw – why are we so hard on ourselves? Most of my immediate relatives live in Eastern Europe and, I swear, do not worry about, you know, such things.
Oh, and Kate – EW! – no, they save those presents for me on the bathroom walls!
Hahaha! I so totally agree with this post! My girls are in preschool right now, and I see the other moms who are there with their first kids…. I am so glad to not be ‘there’ anymore. I am done. I get you. And I don’t feel bad about it.
Hahaha! I so totally agree with this post! My girls are in preschool right now, and I see the other moms who are there with their first kids…. I am so glad to not be ‘there’ anymore. I am done. I get you. And I don’t feel bad about it.
Hahaha! I so totally agree with this post! My girls are in preschool right now, and I see the other moms who are there with their first kids…. I am so glad to not be ‘there’ anymore. I am done. I get you. And I don’t feel bad about it.
I think the only hard day I had about school was my daughter’s first day in preschool. Other than that I got used to things pretty quickly. Some of the other moms I know just can’t believe that, but there it is.
And yes, people do feel free to ask all sorts of questions. I work at home, 2 kids, so no one’s asking the birth control questions, but it took years to get my mother in law to quit asking when I was going to get a real job.
I think the only hard day I had about school was my daughter’s first day in preschool. Other than that I got used to things pretty quickly. Some of the other moms I know just can’t believe that, but there it is.
And yes, people do feel free to ask all sorts of questions. I work at home, 2 kids, so no one’s asking the birth control questions, but it took years to get my mother in law to quit asking when I was going to get a real job.
I think the only hard day I had about school was my daughter’s first day in preschool. Other than that I got used to things pretty quickly. Some of the other moms I know just can’t believe that, but there it is.
And yes, people do feel free to ask all sorts of questions. I work at home, 2 kids, so no one’s asking the birth control questions, but it took years to get my mother in law to quit asking when I was going to get a real job.