My father is going back into the hospital - since, my mom is feeling better and it’s his turn, anyway…dammit! – and though this round of surgery is not life threatening, I do believe that this time, his going under the knife (for the 10th time in three years) will undoubtedly prove to be my family’s undoing!
“Hi, Sweetie…”
[&#@%]
“…just wanted to let you know…”
[%@#&]
“…your father and I are home.”
[cough]
“Good…um…is everything okay?”
[&#@%]
“Hmmm?”
[%@#&]
“Oh, that…yes, your father’s just trying to take his [blankety-blank] jacket off…”
[muffled voice]
“WOULD YOU JUST CALM DOWN…FOR THE LOVE OF…GETTING YOURSELF AGGRIVATED ISN’T GOING TOÂ HELP…IS IT!?!?”
[hissing]
“Ugh…I hope they fix him, soon…because his [blankety-blank] pain is killing me!
[heavy sigh]
“I’m sorry, Sweetie…did you say something?”
[cough]Â
“Nope, see you Sunday…love you…buh-bye!”
[click]Â
Typically, I would have stayed on the line and offered my mother a few comforting words – like, “Don’t worry,” and “You’ll be fine!” – but, these days – what, with my mother’s new knees and my father’s dead arm – I’m lucky if I get a word in above all the hissing, spitting and cursing.
“Um…okay, love you…buh-bye!”
[click]
On the one hand, I think it’s natural for my parents to feel frustrated with the physical pain they’ve each had to go through for the past…well, feels like forever to them, I’m sure. On the other hand…holy cats!…do my kids have to see their grandparents scratch each others eyes out…every Sunday!?!
[shielding them from all the spit]
“I know you are having a tough time – just take a look at all the zits on my chin – really, I do.
This is where I usually start to lose it – because I am A WIMPY-ASSED CRY-BABY!
“But…[snort]…that’s no reason…[snarf]…to hurt each other!”
And then my father starts to cry.
“Don’t you know…[snarf]…how much it hurts me, too…[snort]…already!?!”
And then my mother starts to cry.
[&#@%]
“I just love these family-get-togethers; don’t you!?!”
Now, we’re all laughing (and crying) and blowing snot like it was 1999 - I can’t quite remember what happened, then, but I’m pretty sure someone was getting something repaired, rebuilt or replaced.
“Ummmm…why are guys crying?”
[eyes go wide]
Oh, [blankety-blank] the kids!
“Uh, we’re not crying.”
[sniff]
“Yes, you are…[snarf]…and…[snort]…it’s making me sad!”
And then the rest of my kids…oh, you know.
On the one hand, I think it’s okay for my kids to see that grown ups can be sad, frustrated, angry…well, everything they feel about us, pretty much, and on a regular basis. On the other hand, holy catharsis…I can’t help but wonder, you know, do they really have to see…this…much…snot!?!
“Don’t worry…we’re fine…the sad is gone…these ARE happy tears!”
[blank stare]
“Who’s ready for soup?!?!”
HURRAY!
And then my father does some funny gestures with is dead arm, makes the kids laugh and they charge into my mother’s kitchen to eat everything…they do NOT eat at home.
“Mmmm…I wuv mama’s duck…es-pesh-wee da neck!”
So, what are you doing this Sunday?Â
[click]
Hello?
This is where I would typically think, TGIF.
“Have a terrific weekend!”
But, you’re welcome to hang around – just a little longer - and tell me that everything is going to be, you know, okay.
Comments
12 responses to “Yet another testimony to the power of being able to make children cheer and grown men cry!”
As long as the only thing being flung is insults, I’m sure everything will be OK.
Maybe it is just me, but because my parents were (are) not in good health, from very little, I made sure my daughter got to see them at least once a week.
When my father passed away in ’04, I couldn’t have been happier that I made sure that he got to know his granddaughter and she got to know him while there was still time.
It can be trying at times to be sure, but sometimes there is no “later” or “better time” than the present.
Have a fantastigorically stupendilious weekend (Sorry, still suffering from Seuss overload).
As long as the only thing being flung is insults, I’m sure everything will be OK.
Maybe it is just me, but because my parents were (are) not in good health, from very little, I made sure my daughter got to see them at least once a week.
When my father passed away in ’04, I couldn’t have been happier that I made sure that he got to know his granddaughter and she got to know him while there was still time.
It can be trying at times to be sure, but sometimes there is no “later” or “better time” than the present.
Have a fantastigorically stupendilious weekend (Sorry, still suffering from Seuss overload).
As long as the only thing being flung is insults, I’m sure everything will be OK.
Maybe it is just me, but because my parents were (are) not in good health, from very little, I made sure my daughter got to see them at least once a week.
When my father passed away in ’04, I couldn’t have been happier that I made sure that he got to know his granddaughter and she got to know him while there was still time.
It can be trying at times to be sure, but sometimes there is no “later” or “better time” than the present.
Have a fantastigorically stupendilious weekend (Sorry, still suffering from Seuss overload).
Everything is gona be ok. As soon as all that snort is cleaned up!
When my dad snorts, he sounds like a pig. When mom snorts, he then looks for a hiding place, so mom wont jump his bones, because she’ll bury him. But he does have a big butt, so it might not be easy. What my big brother says, and he’s right!
Have a nice weekend, Liz!
Everything is gona be ok. As soon as all that snort is cleaned up!
When my dad snorts, he sounds like a pig. When mom snorts, he then looks for a hiding place, so mom wont jump his bones, because she’ll bury him. But he does have a big butt, so it might not be easy. What my big brother says, and he’s right!
Have a nice weekend, Liz!
Everything is gona be ok. As soon as all that snort is cleaned up!
When my dad snorts, he sounds like a pig. When mom snorts, he then looks for a hiding place, so mom wont jump his bones, because she’ll bury him. But he does have a big butt, so it might not be easy. What my big brother says, and he’s right!
Have a nice weekend, Liz!
Sending you and your dad good thoughts!
Sending you and your dad good thoughts!
Sending you and your dad good thoughts!
Hope your dad is OK! Well it’s just a fact of life that sometimes (often) adults get cranky and let a few choice words fly. But at least it all ends well in tears of laughter and grandma’s cooking at your house.
Take care! Spring is right around the corner!
Hope your dad is OK! Well it’s just a fact of life that sometimes (often) adults get cranky and let a few choice words fly. But at least it all ends well in tears of laughter and grandma’s cooking at your house.
Take care! Spring is right around the corner!
Hope your dad is OK! Well it’s just a fact of life that sometimes (often) adults get cranky and let a few choice words fly. But at least it all ends well in tears of laughter and grandma’s cooking at your house.
Take care! Spring is right around the corner!