Living with 2 teens and 3 other adults (who have opinions AND are NOT afraid to use them), it's not very often that we all agree on…well…anything, really. Unless, we're talking Zombies. And if you're into Zombies? Well, then for the love of all things George Romero, feel free to clean off a chair and sit down, my friend…because there is always room for one more walker!
Because, 13 MORE SLEEPS UNTIL THE WALKING DEAD!!! YAY!!! We are ALL big fans of The Walking Dead ova here, and have been following along since Season 1, but last season — what, with all the"What IS this Terminus" or "What's with the flowers?!?" and "OMG, LIZZIE?!?"– nearly killed me!!!
Here's the thing: I just get way too involved in the story line (because, there is lots and lots of drama in Zombieland) and they would've left me behind for Zombie food not even halfway through Episode 1.
"OMG!!! NOOOOOO, RUN…QUICK…THROUGH THE FRIGGIN' GREEN DOOR…ON YOUR LEFT…NOOOOOO, YOUR OTHER LEFT!!!"
[opens green door]
"GAAAAAH!!!!"
Who knew? Eleventy-billion zombies…OMG!!! RIGHT THERE!!!…dripping with oozey-Zombie flesh…waiting for my sorry ass…right behind the friggin' green door.
"Mom, could you NOT?!?"
Yep, I'd be the one my kids smack in the leg with a baseball bat and leave behind as Zombie bait.
[eyes go WIDE]
Aaaaaaand, then it hit me…like a baseball bat to the leg…I could easily be mistaken for a Zombie, because:
- Zombies, kind of, sort of walk funny — I've carried children and given birth, four times, me too.
- Zombies look all drawn and haggard — I've got teens, enough said.
- Zombies are hungry, all the time – ME, TOO!!!
- Zombies react to sound and MUST investigate — because, teens are LOUD…oh and…BOOYAH!!!!…I just remembered where I hid the good chocolate…[insert deep, guttural groan here]…CHAAAAAAW…CO…LUT!!!
- Zombies have a hard time sitting down or getting up from chairs, without falling on their faces — because, gravity can be stupid like that.
Hah! So, when the Zombie Apocolypse arrives…because, OH YES, it is coming…all I have to do is pretend like I'm one of them and…CHAAAAAAAW…CO…LUT!!!…no Zombie food for you, skin suckuhs…NOT TODAY!
"Until someone throat-punches you and you pass out at the sight of your own blood."
[blink, blink, blink]
Long story, short: because, watching television with teens is hard.
"Ooooooh, there's my pretend boyfriend, he looks REAL YUMMY!!!"
[cringe]
"Ewwwwww, that's just ALL SORTS OF GROSS, Mom!!!!"
Moral of the Story: because, watching television with teens can be REAL FUN, too…YO!!!
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