The warm-ish, cold-ish, back to warm-ish, make up your mind, already, ding-dang weather has kicked off Hope’s croup (a.k.a. the creeping crud), which usually means:
- She will cough the entire night
- She will lose her voice
- And then she will throw up
Lovely, yes? Don’t worry, she’s used to it. Me? Not so much. I don’t do well with throw up. Never have. When it comes to the kids getting sick, Garth (not his real name) has been my go to, as the…ummmm…throw up handler? Puke wrangler? Chumming buddy?
[blank stare]
Soooooo, aaaaanyway, poor thing got sick in school. On the way home, I asked her if she was able to keep her lunch down.
“Yes, until I coughed up the goober that got stuck in my throat and my lunch decided to play follow the leader.”
I love this kid. She just cracks me up.
“Aaaaaand, I had to write a speaking paper.”
Long story, short (you’re welcome!) Hope lost her voice in school and decided it would behoove her teachers that she make a list of common phrases she uses throughout the day:
- Can I go to the bathroom?
- Can I get a drink?
- Can I go to the nurse?
- Can you repeat that?
- I don’t understand.
- Thank you!
I thought it was soooooo funny (especially, the part where she thought “I don’t understand” not as rude as asking people to repeat themselves!) until I wondered (out loud) what would be on MY speaking paper, to which she answered:
- Where is your ding-dang coat?
- What part of “pick up your wet towels” do you NOT understand?
- The dishwasher IS DIRTY, dangit!
- Did you do your homework?
- Get up, you’re going to be late! (may or may not be used separately)
- What do you MEAN you don’t have ANY homework?
- Throw me a bone, people!
Aaaaand, she would have gone on and on…if I hadn’t reminded her that…you know…I would be the one taking care of her, for the next few however long it took for her to get over the creeping crud.
[blink-blink-blinkety-blink-blink]
She then pointed to the last bullet of her Speaking Paper and, well, now that I think on it some more, I really SHOULD send a thank you note to her teachers, or flowers, maybe even a box of chocolates, a butt load of cough drops, or something, right?!?
Cheeky kid.
© 2003 – 2013 This Full House
Comments
90 responses to “Don’t Have a Speaking Paper, GET ONE!”
Mine would say:
1. Hmm. Interesting.
2. I’m tired.
3. That. Is. Amazing.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I can do a Zumba routine to this song.
And probably more. I’ll get back to you on that.
Mine would say:
1. Hmm. Interesting.
2. I’m tired.
3. That. Is. Amazing.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I can do a Zumba routine to this song.
And probably more. I’ll get back to you on that.
Mine would say:
1. Hmm. Interesting.
2. I’m tired.
3. That. Is. Amazing.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I can do a Zumba routine to this song.
And probably more. I’ll get back to you on that.
Mine would say:
1. Hmm. Interesting.
2. I’m tired.
3. That. Is. Amazing.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I can do a Zumba routine to this song.
And probably more. I’ll get back to you on that.
Mine would say:
1. Hmm. Interesting.
2. I’m tired.
3. That. Is. Amazing.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I can do a Zumba routine to this song.
And probably more. I’ll get back to you on that.
Mine would say:
1. Hmm. Interesting.
2. I’m tired.
3. That. Is. Amazing.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I can do a Zumba routine to this song.
And probably more. I’ll get back to you on that.
Mine would say:
1. Hmm. Interesting.
2. I’m tired.
3. That. Is. Amazing.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I can do a Zumba routine to this song.
And probably more. I’ll get back to you on that.
Mine would say:
1. Hmm. Interesting.
2. I’m tired.
3. That. Is. Amazing.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I can do a Zumba routine to this song.
And probably more. I’ll get back to you on that.
Mine would say:
1. Hmm. Interesting.
2. I’m tired.
3. That. Is. Amazing.
4. I’m hungry.
5. I can do a Zumba routine to this song.
And probably more. I’ll get back to you on that.
Let’s see, mine would be:
1. I said, put your shoes one. (cuz we can always get just this close to getting out the door but shoes…shoes take 20+ minutes)
2. No way, really? (because its what I say to every odd, non-consequential thing my kids say all day)
3. Yes thank you I’d LOVE some help. (because even on paper I’d need to be sarcastic. ie no one ever actually offers help)
4. Why don’t you do read a book (my go to in hopes of getting 2 minutes to form a full thought it my own head)
Let’s see, mine would be:
1. I said, put your shoes one. (cuz we can always get just this close to getting out the door but shoes…shoes take 20+ minutes)
2. No way, really? (because its what I say to every odd, non-consequential thing my kids say all day)
3. Yes thank you I’d LOVE some help. (because even on paper I’d need to be sarcastic. ie no one ever actually offers help)
4. Why don’t you do read a book (my go to in hopes of getting 2 minutes to form a full thought it my own head)
Let’s see, mine would be:
1. I said, put your shoes one. (cuz we can always get just this close to getting out the door but shoes…shoes take 20+ minutes)
2. No way, really? (because its what I say to every odd, non-consequential thing my kids say all day)
3. Yes thank you I’d LOVE some help. (because even on paper I’d need to be sarcastic. ie no one ever actually offers help)
4. Why don’t you do read a book (my go to in hopes of getting 2 minutes to form a full thought it my own head)
Let’s see, mine would be:
1. I said, put your shoes one. (cuz we can always get just this close to getting out the door but shoes…shoes take 20+ minutes)
2. No way, really? (because its what I say to every odd, non-consequential thing my kids say all day)
3. Yes thank you I’d LOVE some help. (because even on paper I’d need to be sarcastic. ie no one ever actually offers help)
4. Why don’t you do read a book (my go to in hopes of getting 2 minutes to form a full thought it my own head)
Let’s see, mine would be:
1. I said, put your shoes one. (cuz we can always get just this close to getting out the door but shoes…shoes take 20+ minutes)
2. No way, really? (because its what I say to every odd, non-consequential thing my kids say all day)
3. Yes thank you I’d LOVE some help. (because even on paper I’d need to be sarcastic. ie no one ever actually offers help)
4. Why don’t you do read a book (my go to in hopes of getting 2 minutes to form a full thought it my own head)
Let’s see, mine would be:
1. I said, put your shoes one. (cuz we can always get just this close to getting out the door but shoes…shoes take 20+ minutes)
2. No way, really? (because its what I say to every odd, non-consequential thing my kids say all day)
3. Yes thank you I’d LOVE some help. (because even on paper I’d need to be sarcastic. ie no one ever actually offers help)
4. Why don’t you do read a book (my go to in hopes of getting 2 minutes to form a full thought it my own head)
Let’s see, mine would be:
1. I said, put your shoes one. (cuz we can always get just this close to getting out the door but shoes…shoes take 20+ minutes)
2. No way, really? (because its what I say to every odd, non-consequential thing my kids say all day)
3. Yes thank you I’d LOVE some help. (because even on paper I’d need to be sarcastic. ie no one ever actually offers help)
4. Why don’t you do read a book (my go to in hopes of getting 2 minutes to form a full thought it my own head)
Let’s see, mine would be:
1. I said, put your shoes one. (cuz we can always get just this close to getting out the door but shoes…shoes take 20+ minutes)
2. No way, really? (because its what I say to every odd, non-consequential thing my kids say all day)
3. Yes thank you I’d LOVE some help. (because even on paper I’d need to be sarcastic. ie no one ever actually offers help)
4. Why don’t you do read a book (my go to in hopes of getting 2 minutes to form a full thought it my own head)
Let’s see, mine would be:
1. I said, put your shoes one. (cuz we can always get just this close to getting out the door but shoes…shoes take 20+ minutes)
2. No way, really? (because its what I say to every odd, non-consequential thing my kids say all day)
3. Yes thank you I’d LOVE some help. (because even on paper I’d need to be sarcastic. ie no one ever actually offers help)
4. Why don’t you do read a book (my go to in hopes of getting 2 minutes to form a full thought it my own head)
Hah! I could so copy your list, Lisa 🙂
Hah! I could so copy your list, Lisa 🙂
Hah! I could so copy your list, Lisa 🙂
Hah! I could so copy your list, Lisa 🙂
Hah! I could so copy your list, Lisa 🙂
Hah! I could so copy your list, Lisa 🙂
Hah! I could so copy your list, Lisa 🙂
Hah! I could so copy your list, Lisa 🙂
Hah! I could so copy your list, Lisa 🙂
Interesting question…
1. Could anyone empty a trash can other than me?
2. Does anyone need more tampons, razors, makeup, shampoo?
3. I just want to sit down.
4. Where’s the wine?
5. Where are my M&Ms?
6. Ok, I’ll stop asking you questions.
7. Yes, I am well aware that I do not. know. anything.
Hope Cindy (not her real name) feels better.
Interesting question…
1. Could anyone empty a trash can other than me?
2. Does anyone need more tampons, razors, makeup, shampoo?
3. I just want to sit down.
4. Where’s the wine?
5. Where are my M&Ms?
6. Ok, I’ll stop asking you questions.
7. Yes, I am well aware that I do not. know. anything.
Hope Cindy (not her real name) feels better.
Interesting question…
1. Could anyone empty a trash can other than me?
2. Does anyone need more tampons, razors, makeup, shampoo?
3. I just want to sit down.
4. Where’s the wine?
5. Where are my M&Ms?
6. Ok, I’ll stop asking you questions.
7. Yes, I am well aware that I do not. know. anything.
Hope Cindy (not her real name) feels better.
Interesting question…
1. Could anyone empty a trash can other than me?
2. Does anyone need more tampons, razors, makeup, shampoo?
3. I just want to sit down.
4. Where’s the wine?
5. Where are my M&Ms?
6. Ok, I’ll stop asking you questions.
7. Yes, I am well aware that I do not. know. anything.
Hope Cindy (not her real name) feels better.
Interesting question…
1. Could anyone empty a trash can other than me?
2. Does anyone need more tampons, razors, makeup, shampoo?
3. I just want to sit down.
4. Where’s the wine?
5. Where are my M&Ms?
6. Ok, I’ll stop asking you questions.
7. Yes, I am well aware that I do not. know. anything.
Hope Cindy (not her real name) feels better.
Interesting question…
1. Could anyone empty a trash can other than me?
2. Does anyone need more tampons, razors, makeup, shampoo?
3. I just want to sit down.
4. Where’s the wine?
5. Where are my M&Ms?
6. Ok, I’ll stop asking you questions.
7. Yes, I am well aware that I do not. know. anything.
Hope Cindy (not her real name) feels better.
Interesting question…
1. Could anyone empty a trash can other than me?
2. Does anyone need more tampons, razors, makeup, shampoo?
3. I just want to sit down.
4. Where’s the wine?
5. Where are my M&Ms?
6. Ok, I’ll stop asking you questions.
7. Yes, I am well aware that I do not. know. anything.
Hope Cindy (not her real name) feels better.
Interesting question…
1. Could anyone empty a trash can other than me?
2. Does anyone need more tampons, razors, makeup, shampoo?
3. I just want to sit down.
4. Where’s the wine?
5. Where are my M&Ms?
6. Ok, I’ll stop asking you questions.
7. Yes, I am well aware that I do not. know. anything.
Hope Cindy (not her real name) feels better.
Interesting question…
1. Could anyone empty a trash can other than me?
2. Does anyone need more tampons, razors, makeup, shampoo?
3. I just want to sit down.
4. Where’s the wine?
5. Where are my M&Ms?
6. Ok, I’ll stop asking you questions.
7. Yes, I am well aware that I do not. know. anything.
Hope Cindy (not her real name) feels better.
OMG, I can easily add #1 and #2 to my list. #3 as well. Oh AND #4, totally! Ah, hell, I like your list way better Sue!
OMG, I can easily add #1 and #2 to my list. #3 as well. Oh AND #4, totally! Ah, hell, I like your list way better Sue!
OMG, I can easily add #1 and #2 to my list. #3 as well. Oh AND #4, totally! Ah, hell, I like your list way better Sue!
OMG, I can easily add #1 and #2 to my list. #3 as well. Oh AND #4, totally! Ah, hell, I like your list way better Sue!
OMG, I can easily add #1 and #2 to my list. #3 as well. Oh AND #4, totally! Ah, hell, I like your list way better Sue!
OMG, I can easily add #1 and #2 to my list. #3 as well. Oh AND #4, totally! Ah, hell, I like your list way better Sue!
OMG, I can easily add #1 and #2 to my list. #3 as well. Oh AND #4, totally! Ah, hell, I like your list way better Sue!
OMG, I can easily add #1 and #2 to my list. #3 as well. Oh AND #4, totally! Ah, hell, I like your list way better Sue!
OMG, I can easily add #1 and #2 to my list. #3 as well. Oh AND #4, totally! Ah, hell, I like your list way better Sue!
This is a great idea!
Mine would include:
1. I’m just going to read one more chapter.
2. Dishes again? Y’all are going to start eating with your hands.
3. Do you really need my help with that, or are you just trying to get me to do it for you?
4. I need a nap.
5. You need a nap.
6. We are ALL TAKING NAPS RIGHT NOW!
This is a great idea!
Mine would include:
1. I’m just going to read one more chapter.
2. Dishes again? Y’all are going to start eating with your hands.
3. Do you really need my help with that, or are you just trying to get me to do it for you?
4. I need a nap.
5. You need a nap.
6. We are ALL TAKING NAPS RIGHT NOW!
This is a great idea!
Mine would include:
1. I’m just going to read one more chapter.
2. Dishes again? Y’all are going to start eating with your hands.
3. Do you really need my help with that, or are you just trying to get me to do it for you?
4. I need a nap.
5. You need a nap.
6. We are ALL TAKING NAPS RIGHT NOW!
This is a great idea!
Mine would include:
1. I’m just going to read one more chapter.
2. Dishes again? Y’all are going to start eating with your hands.
3. Do you really need my help with that, or are you just trying to get me to do it for you?
4. I need a nap.
5. You need a nap.
6. We are ALL TAKING NAPS RIGHT NOW!
This is a great idea!
Mine would include:
1. I’m just going to read one more chapter.
2. Dishes again? Y’all are going to start eating with your hands.
3. Do you really need my help with that, or are you just trying to get me to do it for you?
4. I need a nap.
5. You need a nap.
6. We are ALL TAKING NAPS RIGHT NOW!
This is a great idea!
Mine would include:
1. I’m just going to read one more chapter.
2. Dishes again? Y’all are going to start eating with your hands.
3. Do you really need my help with that, or are you just trying to get me to do it for you?
4. I need a nap.
5. You need a nap.
6. We are ALL TAKING NAPS RIGHT NOW!
This is a great idea!
Mine would include:
1. I’m just going to read one more chapter.
2. Dishes again? Y’all are going to start eating with your hands.
3. Do you really need my help with that, or are you just trying to get me to do it for you?
4. I need a nap.
5. You need a nap.
6. We are ALL TAKING NAPS RIGHT NOW!
This is a great idea!
Mine would include:
1. I’m just going to read one more chapter.
2. Dishes again? Y’all are going to start eating with your hands.
3. Do you really need my help with that, or are you just trying to get me to do it for you?
4. I need a nap.
5. You need a nap.
6. We are ALL TAKING NAPS RIGHT NOW!
This is a great idea!
Mine would include:
1. I’m just going to read one more chapter.
2. Dishes again? Y’all are going to start eating with your hands.
3. Do you really need my help with that, or are you just trying to get me to do it for you?
4. I need a nap.
5. You need a nap.
6. We are ALL TAKING NAPS RIGHT NOW!
OMG, Tracie…#2…I'm dyin' ova-heh 🙂
OMG, Tracie…#2…I'm dyin' ova-heh 🙂
OMG, Tracie…#2…I'm dyin' ova-heh 🙂
OMG, Tracie…#2…I'm dyin' ova-heh 🙂
OMG, Tracie…#2…I'm dyin' ova-heh 🙂
OMG, Tracie…#2…I'm dyin' ova-heh 🙂
OMG, Tracie…#2…I'm dyin' ova-heh 🙂
OMG, Tracie…#2…I'm dyin' ova-heh 🙂
OMG, Tracie…#2…I'm dyin' ova-heh 🙂
I’m afraid to ask my peeps what would be on my speaking paper.
I’m afraid to ask my peeps what would be on my speaking paper.
I’m afraid to ask my peeps what would be on my speaking paper.
I’m afraid to ask my peeps what would be on my speaking paper.
I’m afraid to ask my peeps what would be on my speaking paper.
I’m afraid to ask my peeps what would be on my speaking paper.
I’m afraid to ask my peeps what would be on my speaking paper.
I’m afraid to ask my peeps what would be on my speaking paper.
I’m afraid to ask my peeps what would be on my speaking paper.
Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to hear yours, Tara 🙂
Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to hear yours, Tara 🙂
Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to hear yours, Tara 🙂
Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to hear yours, Tara 🙂
Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to hear yours, Tara 🙂
Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to hear yours, Tara 🙂
Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to hear yours, Tara 🙂
Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to hear yours, Tara 🙂
Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to hear yours, Tara 🙂
These are great!
These are great!
These are great!
These are great!
These are great!
These are great!
These are great!
These are great!
These are great!