When it comes to parenting (because, really, raising 3 teens and 1 tween, there really isn't much else going on up in here…dammit!) my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I have reached an understanding.
Aaaaaaaand, if any of my kids are reading this (because, really, nothing is sacred…DAMMIT!) this is where you guys need to click away…m'kay?
[blows bangs out of eyes]
Okay, are they gone? Good.
It's simple, really. Which is a good thing, because I'm not very good with un-simple (yes, it's a word) because…SQUIRREL!!!
[BAM!]
Aaaaaaaand, that should take care of any trolls, clicking around the internets looking for some action…NOPE, NOTHING CONTROVERSIAL GOING NO HERE.
[SLAM!]
We'll just wait a few more seconds. Just. To. Be. Sure. Oooooo-kaaaaaay, ready?
[rolls up sleeves, clears throat]
It's sort of like a good cop/bad cop thing: he tries (really, really hard, btw) not to go all BAT GUANO about the little things (like, the rechargeable batteries are NOT in the rechargeable battery thingy…true story, just a couple of days ago…and OMG!) while I pretend NOT TO FLIP THE FRIG-OUT when stuff goes REAL BAD.
Day before yesterday (I think) stuff got REAL BAD.
"You okay?"
Poor guy, here he was expecting me to FLIP THE FRIG-OUT, had the puke bucket ready and everything.
"I'm fine."
The REAL BAD stuff I'm speaking of isn't happening directly to me…[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]…but to two people I love very much…who are being very, very brave about it, btw…and would most likely forgive me for FLIPPING THE FRIG-OUT…for them…because, well, it's how I roll.
Instead, something pretty good happened. We laughed. Okay, fine, I laugh-snorted.
Point being, as bad as this particular piece of news was (trust me, it was real guano-y) I listened to these two very brave people cracking jokes, making me laugh-snort and trying their darnedest to convince ME that it was okay?
Yeah, reality check…multiple pieces of emotional baggage…please.
It made me realize that the stuff that Garth (NHRN) and I have been going through, for the last few months, is no where even in the vicinity of being REAL BAD!
Besides, if you worrying about something bad happening (and I realize that everyone has stuff, with many different and very, very complicated levels of bad) chances are, it will happen.
Karma has a sick sense of humor, like that…[whispering…the bastard]…so, why don't we all decide to dread something that we really, really want instead, like:
- Gosh, but I hope Keeping Up With the Kardashians doesn't get canceled.
- Can you imagine going a whole year without a car repair…OMG!?!?!
- I don't think I can take another day of losing more weight.
- Or keeping a job.
- There goes the phone again, I really hope it's bad news.
- OH MAN! It would be absolutely AWFUL if somehow we managed to find a way to finally take the kids to Disney.
- Geez, I really hope something REALLY BAD happens today.
For starters, anyways. Okay, your turn…oh, and…HOLY GUANO, PERISH THE THOUGHT!!!…you know, just in case.
© 2003 – 2012 This Full House
Comments
36 responses to “Don’t Worry, Be Dread-y and Perish the Thought While We’re At It!”
I love this post! (But that shouldn’t surprise you, ahem.)
And for good measure, I REALLY, REALLY hope you don’t ever need to take your kids to Disney. Especially in the next year or so.
I love this post! (But that shouldn’t surprise you, ahem.)
And for good measure, I REALLY, REALLY hope you don’t ever need to take your kids to Disney. Especially in the next year or so.
I love this post! (But that shouldn’t surprise you, ahem.)
And for good measure, I REALLY, REALLY hope you don’t ever need to take your kids to Disney. Especially in the next year or so.
I love this post! (But that shouldn’t surprise you, ahem.)
And for good measure, I REALLY, REALLY hope you don’t ever need to take your kids to Disney. Especially in the next year or so.
I love this post! (But that shouldn’t surprise you, ahem.)
And for good measure, I REALLY, REALLY hope you don’t ever need to take your kids to Disney. Especially in the next year or so.
I love this post! (But that shouldn’t surprise you, ahem.)
And for good measure, I REALLY, REALLY hope you don’t ever need to take your kids to Disney. Especially in the next year or so.
I love this post! (But that shouldn’t surprise you, ahem.)
And for good measure, I REALLY, REALLY hope you don’t ever need to take your kids to Disney. Especially in the next year or so.
I love this post! (But that shouldn’t surprise you, ahem.)
And for good measure, I REALLY, REALLY hope you don’t ever need to take your kids to Disney. Especially in the next year or so.
I love this post! (But that shouldn’t surprise you, ahem.)
And for good measure, I REALLY, REALLY hope you don’t ever need to take your kids to Disney. Especially in the next year or so.
Aaaaand, dang but I hope your bathroom counters don't show when they're supposed to…[shudder]…I mean, really!
Aaaaand, dang but I hope your bathroom counters don't show when they're supposed to…[shudder]…I mean, really!
Aaaaand, dang but I hope your bathroom counters don't show when they're supposed to…[shudder]…I mean, really!
Aaaaand, dang but I hope your bathroom counters don't show when they're supposed to…[shudder]…I mean, really!
Aaaaand, dang but I hope your bathroom counters don't show when they're supposed to…[shudder]…I mean, really!
Aaaaand, dang but I hope your bathroom counters don't show when they're supposed to…[shudder]…I mean, really!
Aaaaand, dang but I hope your bathroom counters don't show when they're supposed to…[shudder]…I mean, really!
Aaaaand, dang but I hope your bathroom counters don't show when they're supposed to…[shudder]…I mean, really!
Aaaaand, dang but I hope your bathroom counters don't show when they're supposed to…[shudder]…I mean, really!
Like, “Gee, I hope my bank account balance hits zero before Monday?” Oh wait. It probably will. But I do get the point. Very insightful!
Like, “Gee, I hope my bank account balance hits zero before Monday?” Oh wait. It probably will. But I do get the point. Very insightful!
Like, “Gee, I hope my bank account balance hits zero before Monday?” Oh wait. It probably will. But I do get the point. Very insightful!
Like, “Gee, I hope my bank account balance hits zero before Monday?” Oh wait. It probably will. But I do get the point. Very insightful!
Like, “Gee, I hope my bank account balance hits zero before Monday?” Oh wait. It probably will. But I do get the point. Very insightful!
Like, “Gee, I hope my bank account balance hits zero before Monday?” Oh wait. It probably will. But I do get the point. Very insightful!
Like, “Gee, I hope my bank account balance hits zero before Monday?” Oh wait. It probably will. But I do get the point. Very insightful!
Like, “Gee, I hope my bank account balance hits zero before Monday?” Oh wait. It probably will. But I do get the point. Very insightful!
Like, “Gee, I hope my bank account balance hits zero before Monday?” Oh wait. It probably will. But I do get the point. Very insightful!
Aaaaaand, this would be an awful time for an unexpected windfall to happen…right?!?
Aaaaaand, this would be an awful time for an unexpected windfall to happen…right?!?
Aaaaaand, this would be an awful time for an unexpected windfall to happen…right?!?
Aaaaaand, this would be an awful time for an unexpected windfall to happen…right?!?
Aaaaaand, this would be an awful time for an unexpected windfall to happen…right?!?
Aaaaaand, this would be an awful time for an unexpected windfall to happen…right?!?
Aaaaaand, this would be an awful time for an unexpected windfall to happen…right?!?
Aaaaaand, this would be an awful time for an unexpected windfall to happen…right?!?
Aaaaaand, this would be an awful time for an unexpected windfall to happen…right?!?