I have a confession to make. Ready? Here it goes:
I love grocery shopping!
Weird thing (besides my loving grocery shopping) is I never used to like it and would much rather push an old-fashioned reel lawn mower through a field of sticky balls than have to spend half the day in a supermarket.
Now that my kids are older, well, I cannot run out of the house, or get to the grocery store, fast enough and not just because they eat stuff, all gone, without even being asked to, either.
"Where you going?"
It's nice to have kids old enough to not have to, or necessarily even want, to come with me, even if it's just to the grocery store, really it is.
"Food shopping."
Or, at least I thought.
"I want to come."
[heavy sigh]
"Me, too!"
Aaaand, not because they really, really, like me, either (trust me, I live with me, I know) still, I'm thinking, it's nice outside, the sun is shining, the grass is, uh, really wet, meh, why not, right?
Later.
"Here…why don't you guys go and buy a donut, or something!"
[eyes go wide]
"Don't worry, I'll find you."
The shopping trip was taking much longer than I expected — not to mention, more expensive by the minute — and, well, I just needed a moment to regroup and build up enough strength to get through the meat aisle.
"Can we have tacos, tonight?"
Another thing about having older kids…eventually, they WILL find you…first…no matter how hard you try to hide.
"Oh, WOW, not for what they want for their chopped meat!"
Good thing my kids like pasta, a lot.
"I'll be right back!"
My youngest (she's 9) has this habit of not having to explain herself, to me, because, clearly, I am psychic.
"I'll go with her!"
Ah, the joys of older kids.
"Okay, I'm almost done here."
Much later.
"I'm sorry, mom, but I couldn't stop her in time."
Oh, and one more thing about older kids, they sort of just show up, out of nowhere, and love to give me mini-heart attacks.
"What did you do?"
I put the last of the bags into our cart, when the child lifts her chin up from off her chest, bites her lower lip and announces in a clear voice, that she used the change from Dunkin' Donuts to buy one of those scratch-off lottery tickets.
"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT'S ILLEGAL!"
Honestly, I didn't know whether to laugh, or cry.
I mean, the lottery vending machine was right next to Redbox, which was right next to the bubble gum machines and, well, I guess the poor kid just really, really wanted tacos for dinner.
"She was too short to see the sign about being 18 and nobody was stopping her, either, mom."
That's because the kid was being real quiet about it and nobody ever notices a quiet kid, right?
Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.
"Good news is, no one is going to jail."
[eyes go wide]
"What's the bad news, mommy?"
[tosses ticket into trash bin]
"Looks like we're having pasta tonight!"
Stupid grocery shopping, dumbass economy!
© 2003 – 2011 This Full House
Comments
56 responses to “Where some kids throw tantrums, mine just buy lottery tickets.”
Aw shoot. Maybe next time she illegally obtains one, you’ll win! (i hope!)
Aw shoot. Maybe next time she illegally obtains one, you’ll win! (i hope!)
Aw shoot. Maybe next time she illegally obtains one, you’ll win! (i hope!)
Aw shoot. Maybe next time she illegally obtains one, you’ll win! (i hope!)
Aw shoot. Maybe next time she illegally obtains one, you’ll win! (i hope!)
Aw shoot. Maybe next time she illegally obtains one, you’ll win! (i hope!)
Aw shoot. Maybe next time she illegally obtains one, you’ll win! (i hope!)
Right? If you're going to break the law, do it right and lucratively 🙂
Right? If you're going to break the law, do it right and lucratively 🙂
Right? If you're going to break the law, do it right and lucratively 🙂
Right? If you're going to break the law, do it right and lucratively 🙂
Right? If you're going to break the law, do it right and lucratively 🙂
Right? If you're going to break the law, do it right and lucratively 🙂
Right? If you're going to break the law, do it right and lucratively 🙂
I like shopping just to get out on my own too. Taking the menfolk along definitely adds to the bottom line. Good luck with finding a paying lotto ticket.
I like shopping just to get out on my own too. Taking the menfolk along definitely adds to the bottom line. Good luck with finding a paying lotto ticket.
I like shopping just to get out on my own too. Taking the menfolk along definitely adds to the bottom line. Good luck with finding a paying lotto ticket.
I like shopping just to get out on my own too. Taking the menfolk along definitely adds to the bottom line. Good luck with finding a paying lotto ticket.
I like shopping just to get out on my own too. Taking the menfolk along definitely adds to the bottom line. Good luck with finding a paying lotto ticket.
I like shopping just to get out on my own too. Taking the menfolk along definitely adds to the bottom line. Good luck with finding a paying lotto ticket.
I like shopping just to get out on my own too. Taking the menfolk along definitely adds to the bottom line. Good luck with finding a paying lotto ticket.
I can’t shop alone any more because I can’t cope with the complaints that there’s nothing to eat in our house when I buy only healthy stuff. My radar doesn’t pick up kid food any more so I have to bring the kids along to load the cart with stuff they can stuff their faces with twelve minutes after the dinner dishes are cleaned up.
I can’t shop alone any more because I can’t cope with the complaints that there’s nothing to eat in our house when I buy only healthy stuff. My radar doesn’t pick up kid food any more so I have to bring the kids along to load the cart with stuff they can stuff their faces with twelve minutes after the dinner dishes are cleaned up.
I can’t shop alone any more because I can’t cope with the complaints that there’s nothing to eat in our house when I buy only healthy stuff. My radar doesn’t pick up kid food any more so I have to bring the kids along to load the cart with stuff they can stuff their faces with twelve minutes after the dinner dishes are cleaned up.
I can’t shop alone any more because I can’t cope with the complaints that there’s nothing to eat in our house when I buy only healthy stuff. My radar doesn’t pick up kid food any more so I have to bring the kids along to load the cart with stuff they can stuff their faces with twelve minutes after the dinner dishes are cleaned up.
I can’t shop alone any more because I can’t cope with the complaints that there’s nothing to eat in our house when I buy only healthy stuff. My radar doesn’t pick up kid food any more so I have to bring the kids along to load the cart with stuff they can stuff their faces with twelve minutes after the dinner dishes are cleaned up.
I can’t shop alone any more because I can’t cope with the complaints that there’s nothing to eat in our house when I buy only healthy stuff. My radar doesn’t pick up kid food any more so I have to bring the kids along to load the cart with stuff they can stuff their faces with twelve minutes after the dinner dishes are cleaned up.
I can’t shop alone any more because I can’t cope with the complaints that there’s nothing to eat in our house when I buy only healthy stuff. My radar doesn’t pick up kid food any more so I have to bring the kids along to load the cart with stuff they can stuff their faces with twelve minutes after the dinner dishes are cleaned up.
hahahahahaha. i LOVE grocery shopping too! i could peruse the aisles all day. i hate taking my husband now so i cannot imagine how i will feel with kiddos!
hahahahahah
hahahahahaha. i LOVE grocery shopping too! i could peruse the aisles all day. i hate taking my husband now so i cannot imagine how i will feel with kiddos!
hahahahahah
hahahahahaha. i LOVE grocery shopping too! i could peruse the aisles all day. i hate taking my husband now so i cannot imagine how i will feel with kiddos!
hahahahahah
hahahahahaha. i LOVE grocery shopping too! i could peruse the aisles all day. i hate taking my husband now so i cannot imagine how i will feel with kiddos!
hahahahahah
hahahahahaha. i LOVE grocery shopping too! i could peruse the aisles all day. i hate taking my husband now so i cannot imagine how i will feel with kiddos!
hahahahahah
hahahahahaha. i LOVE grocery shopping too! i could peruse the aisles all day. i hate taking my husband now so i cannot imagine how i will feel with kiddos!
hahahahahah
hahahahahaha. i LOVE grocery shopping too! i could peruse the aisles all day. i hate taking my husband now so i cannot imagine how i will feel with kiddos!
hahahahahah
That's a good point. I never know what to cook, anymore. Especially, with kids deciding they don't like something…20 minutes ago. UGH! Never, ever easy, right?
That's a good point. I never know what to cook, anymore. Especially, with kids deciding they don't like something…20 minutes ago. UGH! Never, ever easy, right?
That's a good point. I never know what to cook, anymore. Especially, with kids deciding they don't like something…20 minutes ago. UGH! Never, ever easy, right?
That's a good point. I never know what to cook, anymore. Especially, with kids deciding they don't like something…20 minutes ago. UGH! Never, ever easy, right?
That's a good point. I never know what to cook, anymore. Especially, with kids deciding they don't like something…20 minutes ago. UGH! Never, ever easy, right?
That's a good point. I never know what to cook, anymore. Especially, with kids deciding they don't like something…20 minutes ago. UGH! Never, ever easy, right?
That's a good point. I never know what to cook, anymore. Especially, with kids deciding they don't like something…20 minutes ago. UGH! Never, ever easy, right?
I think it’s a stitch that when you’re daughter does something “illegal” it’s purchasing a lottery ticket! Too bad you didn’t win. Now that would have been icing on the cake. (Sorry, I’m hungry.)
I’ve been eating pasta a lot too! (The only time I go grocery shopping is when The Mister forces me.) I never win at those lottery tickets, so I forgo the pleasure of scratching.
I think it’s a stitch that when you’re daughter does something “illegal” it’s purchasing a lottery ticket! Too bad you didn’t win. Now that would have been icing on the cake. (Sorry, I’m hungry.)
I’ve been eating pasta a lot too! (The only time I go grocery shopping is when The Mister forces me.) I never win at those lottery tickets, so I forgo the pleasure of scratching.
I think it’s a stitch that when you’re daughter does something “illegal” it’s purchasing a lottery ticket! Too bad you didn’t win. Now that would have been icing on the cake. (Sorry, I’m hungry.)
I’ve been eating pasta a lot too! (The only time I go grocery shopping is when The Mister forces me.) I never win at those lottery tickets, so I forgo the pleasure of scratching.
I think it’s a stitch that when you’re daughter does something “illegal” it’s purchasing a lottery ticket! Too bad you didn’t win. Now that would have been icing on the cake. (Sorry, I’m hungry.)
I’ve been eating pasta a lot too! (The only time I go grocery shopping is when The Mister forces me.) I never win at those lottery tickets, so I forgo the pleasure of scratching.
I think it’s a stitch that when you’re daughter does something “illegal” it’s purchasing a lottery ticket! Too bad you didn’t win. Now that would have been icing on the cake. (Sorry, I’m hungry.)
I’ve been eating pasta a lot too! (The only time I go grocery shopping is when The Mister forces me.) I never win at those lottery tickets, so I forgo the pleasure of scratching.
I think it’s a stitch that when you’re daughter does something “illegal” it’s purchasing a lottery ticket! Too bad you didn’t win. Now that would have been icing on the cake. (Sorry, I’m hungry.)
I’ve been eating pasta a lot too! (The only time I go grocery shopping is when The Mister forces me.) I never win at those lottery tickets, so I forgo the pleasure of scratching.
I think it’s a stitch that when you’re daughter does something “illegal” it’s purchasing a lottery ticket! Too bad you didn’t win. Now that would have been icing on the cake. (Sorry, I’m hungry.)
I’ve been eating pasta a lot too! (The only time I go grocery shopping is when The Mister forces me.) I never win at those lottery tickets, so I forgo the pleasure of scratching.
Sending you and The Mister positive thoughts and all the good luck vibes I can muster….RIGHT NOW…or, I could always have Hopey grab an extra lottery ticket for you 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Sending you and The Mister positive thoughts and all the good luck vibes I can muster….RIGHT NOW…or, I could always have Hopey grab an extra lottery ticket for you 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Sending you and The Mister positive thoughts and all the good luck vibes I can muster….RIGHT NOW…or, I could always have Hopey grab an extra lottery ticket for you 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Sending you and The Mister positive thoughts and all the good luck vibes I can muster….RIGHT NOW…or, I could always have Hopey grab an extra lottery ticket for you 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Sending you and The Mister positive thoughts and all the good luck vibes I can muster….RIGHT NOW…or, I could always have Hopey grab an extra lottery ticket for you 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Sending you and The Mister positive thoughts and all the good luck vibes I can muster….RIGHT NOW…or, I could always have Hopey grab an extra lottery ticket for you 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Sending you and The Mister positive thoughts and all the good luck vibes I can muster….RIGHT NOW…or, I could always have Hopey grab an extra lottery ticket for you 😉
Hugs,
Liz