Parenting Tip #43,100,688:
Don’t Have a Helmet, Get One!

Helmut Head
Besides, the fact that we are perhaps the only family, with four kids, and the youngest nearly in double-digits, who has never been to Disney World (meanies that we are) a lot of people seem to be surprised when they learn that my kids can't ride bikes, either.

Without training wheels, I mean.

I don't know why, really, I guess my kids just never really got into them and then scooters were a big thing, so, there's that.

"I want to learn how to ride a bike!"

My youngest, however, wants to learn how to do everything — especially, if she's the first kid in our family to, you know, do it.

"Okay, maybe this summer."

[hands on hips]

"That's what you ALWAYS say!"

Unfortunately, she wants everything, like, RIGHT NOW, nevermind that there's been snow on the ground for the last couple of, uh, what month is it, again?

"What do you mean?"

Because, you know, I'm quick like that.

"Like, about the ladies stuff?"

PSA:  About to head into female territory and references to lady parts will probably come up, once or twice.

"Oh, that."

Yes, I admit it, I've been putting off having "the talk," and with good reason, too!

"I mean, I know what the pads are used for, already!"

She is the youngest.  She also shares a bedroom (and bathroom) with her two oldest sisters.  The girl sees stuff, hears things, even when she's not supposed to and, well, at this point, I'm kind of worn out and really was hoping that maybe she'd sort of just, you know, figure it out.

"It's so you could catch the pee you missed and sort of drips off, right?"

[sound of crickets]

Aaaaaand, so, Hope and I had a really nice chat, last night, and, I am happy to report that pee was not even mentioned.

"Remember when I was little and you used to give me a bath?"

[heavy sigh]

"Aaaand, you pulled my pants off and I made you scream?"

[eyes go wide]

"Because, I wanted to be like Holly and Heather, so I put a pad on!"

[bites lower lip]

"Except, I put it on…sticky side up."

Oh, yeah.  I forgot about that.

"Aaaaand, you laughed so hard, you fell backwards and hit your head!"

True story (it hurt!) and I'm sure it won't be the last time she tells it, either.

"Why aren't you laughing, mommy?"

Stupid puberty!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

FRESHLY-BREWED REVIEW: Breaking the Silence of Abuse, Depression and Suicide

Comments

77 responses to “Parenting Tip #43,100,688:
Don’t Have a Helmet, Get One!”

  1. Busy Mom Avatar

    Hahahaha!
    We’ve never been to Disney, either.

  2. Busy Mom Avatar

    Hahahaha!
    We’ve never been to Disney, either.

  3. Busy Mom Avatar

    Hahahaha!
    We’ve never been to Disney, either.

  4. Busy Mom Avatar

    Hahahaha!
    We’ve never been to Disney, either.

  5. Busy Mom Avatar

    Hahahaha!
    We’ve never been to Disney, either.

  6. Busy Mom Avatar

    Hahahaha!
    We’ve never been to Disney, either.

  7. Busy Mom Avatar

    Hahahaha!
    We’ve never been to Disney, either.

  8. Melisa Avatar

    I hope you get that girl to Disney before she needs pads.
    Just kidding. But that was probably the dumbest comment I’ve ever left. EVER. (and that’s no joke!)
    You’re welcome! 🙂

  9. Melisa Avatar

    I hope you get that girl to Disney before she needs pads.
    Just kidding. But that was probably the dumbest comment I’ve ever left. EVER. (and that’s no joke!)
    You’re welcome! 🙂

  10. Melisa Avatar

    I hope you get that girl to Disney before she needs pads.
    Just kidding. But that was probably the dumbest comment I’ve ever left. EVER. (and that’s no joke!)
    You’re welcome! 🙂

  11. Melisa Avatar

    I hope you get that girl to Disney before she needs pads.
    Just kidding. But that was probably the dumbest comment I’ve ever left. EVER. (and that’s no joke!)
    You’re welcome! 🙂

  12. Melisa Avatar

    I hope you get that girl to Disney before she needs pads.
    Just kidding. But that was probably the dumbest comment I’ve ever left. EVER. (and that’s no joke!)
    You’re welcome! 🙂

  13. Melisa Avatar

    I hope you get that girl to Disney before she needs pads.
    Just kidding. But that was probably the dumbest comment I’ve ever left. EVER. (and that’s no joke!)
    You’re welcome! 🙂

  14. Melisa Avatar

    I hope you get that girl to Disney before she needs pads.
    Just kidding. But that was probably the dumbest comment I’ve ever left. EVER. (and that’s no joke!)
    You’re welcome! 🙂

  15. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    I love your comments, Melisa.  Heck-fart, the fact that you take the time, out of your very busy schedule, to actually comment, not to mention, read blogs, like mine, dork-ish as it is, well, IMO, makes you so NOT dumb and, by the way, has anyone ever told you just how very, very prettiful you are?!?!?  <—- Longest sentence I've ever typed, maybe. 
    Hugs,
    Liz

  16. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    I love your comments, Melisa.  Heck-fart, the fact that you take the time, out of your very busy schedule, to actually comment, not to mention, read blogs, like mine, dork-ish as it is, well, IMO, makes you so NOT dumb and, by the way, has anyone ever told you just how very, very prettiful you are?!?!?  <—- Longest sentence I've ever typed, maybe. 
    Hugs,
    Liz

  17. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    I love your comments, Melisa.  Heck-fart, the fact that you take the time, out of your very busy schedule, to actually comment, not to mention, read blogs, like mine, dork-ish as it is, well, IMO, makes you so NOT dumb and, by the way, has anyone ever told you just how very, very prettiful you are?!?!?  <—- Longest sentence I've ever typed, maybe. 
    Hugs,
    Liz

  18. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    I love your comments, Melisa.  Heck-fart, the fact that you take the time, out of your very busy schedule, to actually comment, not to mention, read blogs, like mine, dork-ish as it is, well, IMO, makes you so NOT dumb and, by the way, has anyone ever told you just how very, very prettiful you are?!?!?  <—- Longest sentence I've ever typed, maybe. 
    Hugs,
    Liz

  19. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    I love your comments, Melisa.  Heck-fart, the fact that you take the time, out of your very busy schedule, to actually comment, not to mention, read blogs, like mine, dork-ish as it is, well, IMO, makes you so NOT dumb and, by the way, has anyone ever told you just how very, very prettiful you are?!?!?  <—- Longest sentence I've ever typed, maybe. 
    Hugs,
    Liz

  20. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    I love your comments, Melisa.  Heck-fart, the fact that you take the time, out of your very busy schedule, to actually comment, not to mention, read blogs, like mine, dork-ish as it is, well, IMO, makes you so NOT dumb and, by the way, has anyone ever told you just how very, very prettiful you are?!?!?  <—- Longest sentence I've ever typed, maybe. 
    Hugs,
    Liz

  21. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    I love your comments, Melisa.  Heck-fart, the fact that you take the time, out of your very busy schedule, to actually comment, not to mention, read blogs, like mine, dork-ish as it is, well, IMO, makes you so NOT dumb and, by the way, has anyone ever told you just how very, very prettiful you are?!?!?  <—- Longest sentence I've ever typed, maybe. 
    Hugs,
    Liz

  22. Heather Avatar

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I don’t know what is cracking me up more– The actual post or the comments below!
    You guys are hilarious you know that?

  23. Heather Avatar

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I don’t know what is cracking me up more– The actual post or the comments below!
    You guys are hilarious you know that?

  24. Heather Avatar

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I don’t know what is cracking me up more– The actual post or the comments below!
    You guys are hilarious you know that?

  25. Heather Avatar

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I don’t know what is cracking me up more– The actual post or the comments below!
    You guys are hilarious you know that?

  26. Heather Avatar

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I don’t know what is cracking me up more– The actual post or the comments below!
    You guys are hilarious you know that?

  27. Heather Avatar

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I don’t know what is cracking me up more– The actual post or the comments below!
    You guys are hilarious you know that?

  28. Heather Avatar

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I don’t know what is cracking me up more– The actual post or the comments below!
    You guys are hilarious you know that?

  29. Mary Avatar

    You’re not the only one who haven’t gone to Disney=) Puberty can be troublesome in a funny way.

  30. Mary Avatar

    You’re not the only one who haven’t gone to Disney=) Puberty can be troublesome in a funny way.

  31. Mary Avatar

    You’re not the only one who haven’t gone to Disney=) Puberty can be troublesome in a funny way.

  32. Mary Avatar

    You’re not the only one who haven’t gone to Disney=) Puberty can be troublesome in a funny way.

  33. Mary Avatar

    You’re not the only one who haven’t gone to Disney=) Puberty can be troublesome in a funny way.

  34. Mary Avatar

    You’re not the only one who haven’t gone to Disney=) Puberty can be troublesome in a funny way.

  35. Mary Avatar

    You’re not the only one who haven’t gone to Disney=) Puberty can be troublesome in a funny way.

  36. Tara R. Avatar

    If you had been wearing a helmet you wouldn’t have hit your head. Oh my… I’m so glad I’ve gotten through all my ‘talks.’

  37. Tara R. Avatar

    If you had been wearing a helmet you wouldn’t have hit your head. Oh my… I’m so glad I’ve gotten through all my ‘talks.’

  38. Tara R. Avatar

    If you had been wearing a helmet you wouldn’t have hit your head. Oh my… I’m so glad I’ve gotten through all my ‘talks.’

  39. Tara R. Avatar

    If you had been wearing a helmet you wouldn’t have hit your head. Oh my… I’m so glad I’ve gotten through all my ‘talks.’

  40. Tara R. Avatar

    If you had been wearing a helmet you wouldn’t have hit your head. Oh my… I’m so glad I’ve gotten through all my ‘talks.’

  41. Tara R. Avatar

    If you had been wearing a helmet you wouldn’t have hit your head. Oh my… I’m so glad I’ve gotten through all my ‘talks.’

  42. Tara R. Avatar

    If you had been wearing a helmet you wouldn’t have hit your head. Oh my… I’m so glad I’ve gotten through all my ‘talks.’

  43. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    Yeah, straight up, Tara!  Also, am seriously considering cushioning the walls, just in case.
    Hugs,
    Liz

  44. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    Yeah, straight up, Tara!  Also, am seriously considering cushioning the walls, just in case.
    Hugs,
    Liz

  45. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    Yeah, straight up, Tara!  Also, am seriously considering cushioning the walls, just in case.
    Hugs,
    Liz

  46. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    Yeah, straight up, Tara!  Also, am seriously considering cushioning the walls, just in case.
    Hugs,
    Liz

  47. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    Yeah, straight up, Tara!  Also, am seriously considering cushioning the walls, just in case.
    Hugs,
    Liz

  48. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    Yeah, straight up, Tara!  Also, am seriously considering cushioning the walls, just in case.
    Hugs,
    Liz

  49. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    Yeah, straight up, Tara!  Also, am seriously considering cushioning the walls, just in case.
    Hugs,
    Liz

  50. deborah@applesinwonderland.blogspot.com Avatar

    hahahahaha. lord, kids are funny. now, do i have to tell my 10 year old son that the tampon carton (is that what they are called) is not a chinese finger-torture? because he thinks that’s what they are. and he’d like to give some to his friends. i need a helmet AND bubble wrap.
    xoxo

  51. deborah@applesinwonderland.blogspot.com Avatar

    hahahahaha. lord, kids are funny. now, do i have to tell my 10 year old son that the tampon carton (is that what they are called) is not a chinese finger-torture? because he thinks that’s what they are. and he’d like to give some to his friends. i need a helmet AND bubble wrap.
    xoxo

  52. deborah@applesinwonderland.blogspot.com Avatar

    hahahahaha. lord, kids are funny. now, do i have to tell my 10 year old son that the tampon carton (is that what they are called) is not a chinese finger-torture? because he thinks that’s what they are. and he’d like to give some to his friends. i need a helmet AND bubble wrap.
    xoxo

  53. deborah@applesinwonderland.blogspot.com Avatar

    hahahahaha. lord, kids are funny. now, do i have to tell my 10 year old son that the tampon carton (is that what they are called) is not a chinese finger-torture? because he thinks that’s what they are. and he’d like to give some to his friends. i need a helmet AND bubble wrap.
    xoxo

  54. deborah@applesinwonderland.blogspot.com Avatar

    hahahahaha. lord, kids are funny. now, do i have to tell my 10 year old son that the tampon carton (is that what they are called) is not a chinese finger-torture? because he thinks that’s what they are. and he’d like to give some to his friends. i need a helmet AND bubble wrap.
    xoxo

  55. deborah@applesinwonderland.blogspot.com Avatar

    hahahahaha. lord, kids are funny. now, do i have to tell my 10 year old son that the tampon carton (is that what they are called) is not a chinese finger-torture? because he thinks that’s what they are. and he’d like to give some to his friends. i need a helmet AND bubble wrap.
    xoxo

  56. deborah@applesinwonderland.blogspot.com Avatar

    hahahahaha. lord, kids are funny. now, do i have to tell my 10 year old son that the tampon carton (is that what they are called) is not a chinese finger-torture? because he thinks that’s what they are. and he’d like to give some to his friends. i need a helmet AND bubble wrap.
    xoxo

  57. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    HAH!  Bubble wrap is a beautiful thing, Deborah 🙂
    Hugs,
    Liz

  58. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    HAH!  Bubble wrap is a beautiful thing, Deborah 🙂
    Hugs,
    Liz

  59. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    HAH!  Bubble wrap is a beautiful thing, Deborah 🙂
    Hugs,
    Liz

  60. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    HAH!  Bubble wrap is a beautiful thing, Deborah 🙂
    Hugs,
    Liz

  61. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    HAH!  Bubble wrap is a beautiful thing, Deborah 🙂
    Hugs,
    Liz

  62. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    HAH!  Bubble wrap is a beautiful thing, Deborah 🙂
    Hugs,
    Liz

  63. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    HAH!  Bubble wrap is a beautiful thing, Deborah 🙂
    Hugs,
    Liz

  64. Michelle Avatar

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
    This sounds so much like the conversations that I have with the wee ones all the time. Fortunately though, we aren’t yet to puberty. And the oldest is 7. I’m not looking forward to those days though.
    And ummm neither of my children can ride sans training wheels either. It’s all good. Right?

  65. Michelle Avatar

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
    This sounds so much like the conversations that I have with the wee ones all the time. Fortunately though, we aren’t yet to puberty. And the oldest is 7. I’m not looking forward to those days though.
    And ummm neither of my children can ride sans training wheels either. It’s all good. Right?

  66. Michelle Avatar

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
    This sounds so much like the conversations that I have with the wee ones all the time. Fortunately though, we aren’t yet to puberty. And the oldest is 7. I’m not looking forward to those days though.
    And ummm neither of my children can ride sans training wheels either. It’s all good. Right?

  67. Michelle Avatar

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
    This sounds so much like the conversations that I have with the wee ones all the time. Fortunately though, we aren’t yet to puberty. And the oldest is 7. I’m not looking forward to those days though.
    And ummm neither of my children can ride sans training wheels either. It’s all good. Right?

  68. Michelle Avatar

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
    This sounds so much like the conversations that I have with the wee ones all the time. Fortunately though, we aren’t yet to puberty. And the oldest is 7. I’m not looking forward to those days though.
    And ummm neither of my children can ride sans training wheels either. It’s all good. Right?

  69. Michelle Avatar

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
    This sounds so much like the conversations that I have with the wee ones all the time. Fortunately though, we aren’t yet to puberty. And the oldest is 7. I’m not looking forward to those days though.
    And ummm neither of my children can ride sans training wheels either. It’s all good. Right?

  70. Michelle Avatar

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
    This sounds so much like the conversations that I have with the wee ones all the time. Fortunately though, we aren’t yet to puberty. And the oldest is 7. I’m not looking forward to those days though.
    And ummm neither of my children can ride sans training wheels either. It’s all good. Right?

  71. Jay Avatar

    NO DISNEY, you must be real meanies, hope you get them there soon, every child desrves disney

  72. Jay Avatar

    NO DISNEY, you must be real meanies, hope you get them there soon, every child desrves disney

  73. Jay Avatar

    NO DISNEY, you must be real meanies, hope you get them there soon, every child desrves disney

  74. Jay Avatar

    NO DISNEY, you must be real meanies, hope you get them there soon, every child desrves disney

  75. Jay Avatar

    NO DISNEY, you must be real meanies, hope you get them there soon, every child desrves disney

  76. Jay Avatar

    NO DISNEY, you must be real meanies, hope you get them there soon, every child desrves disney

  77. Jay Avatar

    NO DISNEY, you must be real meanies, hope you get them there soon, every child desrves disney