Balance. Either you have it, or you don't. Then again, maybe you're one of those people who, over the years, have taken one too many nose dives into the asphalt and learned to NOT over-complicate a situation by, you know, wearing shoes.
[sound of crickets chirping]
No? Okay. Perhaps you're one of THOSE people who stop, look back and are all like…WHOA!…did you see that?!? Then swear that it came straight out of the ground (whatever it was) grabbed you by the ankles and, you know, face meets asphalt, the end.
[cricket]
Allllllrighty then.
"Shouldn't you be wearing shoes?!?"
Me? I used to wear heels. Until, I had kids. Now, I have enough trouble strutting my stuff on the sidewalk (without falling down) or, maybe it's my bohemian roots, beginning show (among other, more grayish ones, I mean) and perhaps, I should just change my name to Agador Spartucus.
"Shoes make me fall down!"
Who knows? Since turning 40-something-or-another (closer to another, if you must know, DAMMIT!) maybe, I'm just getting back in tune with the earth (ahem!) like that hippie dude on Dual Survival and his…um…friend…who sort of remind me of an old married couple (cough!) with kids (cough, cough!) but, DAYUM if they don't make for entertaining television.
Hey. Hang on. There's a novel idea. Perhaps I should start evangelizing the benefits of "barefoot parenting!"
You know, I can be the minimalist and primitive skills expert, trained in counterbalanced living and suburban preparedness…like, yes, she's texting (AGAIN!) but, they ARE outside and what if one of them breaks an arm, or something, right?
With 17 years of combined tween and teenage survival experience…like, yes, he's wearing low rise, skinny-something-or-another…but…um…at least, he's NOT playing a video game, right?
Balance. It's ALL a matter of perspective. Sure, I can insist he pull his pants up (DAMMIT!) then again, this picture wouldn't be half as funny and, more importantly, just fade into yet another missed opportunity in increasing my "Break curfew again, bub and I'll show your girlfriend," arsenal, to boot!
"Um, mom?"
Maybe THEN the Discovery Channel will give me my OWN show!
"Mom?"
Aaaand, I will FINALLY get to go to an island!
"Mommy?"
Where no one cares who you are (or, aren't) where you are from (originally) and that you weigh more than what's on your driver's license (ahem) or, that you've worn white (AFTER Labor Day) with pink underwear (cough) and forgot to shave your legs, AGAIN!
"Mom?"
Oh, but there IS a bed (dogless, catless, hairless and MATCHING pillows) a VERY large bathroom (with a double sink) with room service (a sun-kissed-20-something-or-another with, dark eyes and a wicked tan) giving you undivided attention and an endless supply of fruity cocktails…FOR FREE!
"Mommy?"
Aaaand maybe then (and ONLY then) will the tired, frustrated and gravity-challenged parents of the world (like me) truly unite and achieve GREATNESS!!!
"Mooooommeeeee!"
[blink, blink]
"It's okay that you're driving in your pajamas, right?"
Except on Mondays, then ALL bets are off, DAMMIT!!!
Comments
98 responses to “Barefoot Parenting
(Pants ARE optional!)”
I’m just happy that the first picture wasn’t taken when you were walking a straight line for a police officer. haha
I’m just happy that the first picture wasn’t taken when you were walking a straight line for a police officer. haha
I’m just happy that the first picture wasn’t taken when you were walking a straight line for a police officer. haha
I’m just happy that the first picture wasn’t taken when you were walking a straight line for a police officer. haha
I’m just happy that the first picture wasn’t taken when you were walking a straight line for a police officer. haha
I’m just happy that the first picture wasn’t taken when you were walking a straight line for a police officer. haha
I’m just happy that the first picture wasn’t taken when you were walking a straight line for a police officer. haha
Hi Melisa!
Aaaand, HAH! Although, after a couple of fruity-type-girlie drinks, I have heard that I can be quite…ahem…agile (especially, on date night, when vodka is most likely involved) never driving, though!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Melisa!
Aaaand, HAH! Although, after a couple of fruity-type-girlie drinks, I have heard that I can be quite…ahem…agile (especially, on date night, when vodka is most likely involved) never driving, though!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Melisa!
Aaaand, HAH! Although, after a couple of fruity-type-girlie drinks, I have heard that I can be quite…ahem…agile (especially, on date night, when vodka is most likely involved) never driving, though!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Melisa!
Aaaand, HAH! Although, after a couple of fruity-type-girlie drinks, I have heard that I can be quite…ahem…agile (especially, on date night, when vodka is most likely involved) never driving, though!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Melisa!
Aaaand, HAH! Although, after a couple of fruity-type-girlie drinks, I have heard that I can be quite…ahem…agile (especially, on date night, when vodka is most likely involved) never driving, though!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Melisa!
Aaaand, HAH! Although, after a couple of fruity-type-girlie drinks, I have heard that I can be quite…ahem…agile (especially, on date night, when vodka is most likely involved) never driving, though!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Melisa!
Aaaand, HAH! Although, after a couple of fruity-type-girlie drinks, I have heard that I can be quite…ahem…agile (especially, on date night, when vodka is most likely involved) never driving, though!
Hugs,
Liz
Was that at Lewis Morris Park? My bf and I went hiking there 2 weeks ago!
Was that at Lewis Morris Park? My bf and I went hiking there 2 weeks ago!
Was that at Lewis Morris Park? My bf and I went hiking there 2 weeks ago!
Was that at Lewis Morris Park? My bf and I went hiking there 2 weeks ago!
Was that at Lewis Morris Park? My bf and I went hiking there 2 weeks ago!
Was that at Lewis Morris Park? My bf and I went hiking there 2 weeks ago!
Was that at Lewis Morris Park? My bf and I went hiking there 2 weeks ago!
Hi Kai,
Thanks for the tip on Lewis Morris Park — the Monmouth County Park System has GREAT trails and family-friendly events, if you are ever in Jersey!!!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Kai,
Thanks for the tip on Lewis Morris Park — the Monmouth County Park System has GREAT trails and family-friendly events, if you are ever in Jersey!!!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Kai,
Thanks for the tip on Lewis Morris Park — the Monmouth County Park System has GREAT trails and family-friendly events, if you are ever in Jersey!!!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Kai,
Thanks for the tip on Lewis Morris Park — the Monmouth County Park System has GREAT trails and family-friendly events, if you are ever in Jersey!!!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Kai,
Thanks for the tip on Lewis Morris Park — the Monmouth County Park System has GREAT trails and family-friendly events, if you are ever in Jersey!!!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Kai,
Thanks for the tip on Lewis Morris Park — the Monmouth County Park System has GREAT trails and family-friendly events, if you are ever in Jersey!!!
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Kai,
Thanks for the tip on Lewis Morris Park — the Monmouth County Park System has GREAT trails and family-friendly events, if you are ever in Jersey!!!
Hugs,
Liz
Ahhh, good ol’ pjs & barefeet.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
and i am not even a parent yet! hahahah
😉
Ahhh, good ol’ pjs & barefeet.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
and i am not even a parent yet! hahahah
😉
Ahhh, good ol’ pjs & barefeet.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
and i am not even a parent yet! hahahah
😉
Ahhh, good ol’ pjs & barefeet.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
and i am not even a parent yet! hahahah
😉
Ahhh, good ol’ pjs & barefeet.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
and i am not even a parent yet! hahahah
😉
Ahhh, good ol’ pjs & barefeet.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
and i am not even a parent yet! hahahah
😉
Ahhh, good ol’ pjs & barefeet.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
and i am not even a parent yet! hahahah
😉
Pants are always optional. Oh, wait, what? 🙂
Pants are always optional. Oh, wait, what? 🙂
Pants are always optional. Oh, wait, what? 🙂
Pants are always optional. Oh, wait, what? 🙂
Pants are always optional. Oh, wait, what? 🙂
Pants are always optional. Oh, wait, what? 🙂
Pants are always optional. Oh, wait, what? 🙂
Hi Heather!
You're gonna make a TERRIFIC mom, my friend — hugs, Liz!
Hi Heather!
You're gonna make a TERRIFIC mom, my friend — hugs, Liz!
Hi Heather!
You're gonna make a TERRIFIC mom, my friend — hugs, Liz!
Hi Heather!
You're gonna make a TERRIFIC mom, my friend — hugs, Liz!
Hi Heather!
You're gonna make a TERRIFIC mom, my friend — hugs, Liz!
Hi Heather!
You're gonna make a TERRIFIC mom, my friend — hugs, Liz!
Hi Heather!
You're gonna make a TERRIFIC mom, my friend — hugs, Liz!
P.J.,
[snicker] Yes, pants are always optional, mostly — especially, for dads of beautiful newborn baby girls and equally adorable little man 😉
Hugs,
Liz
P.J.,
[snicker] Yes, pants are always optional, mostly — especially, for dads of beautiful newborn baby girls and equally adorable little man 😉
Hugs,
Liz
P.J.,
[snicker] Yes, pants are always optional, mostly — especially, for dads of beautiful newborn baby girls and equally adorable little man 😉
Hugs,
Liz
P.J.,
[snicker] Yes, pants are always optional, mostly — especially, for dads of beautiful newborn baby girls and equally adorable little man 😉
Hugs,
Liz
P.J.,
[snicker] Yes, pants are always optional, mostly — especially, for dads of beautiful newborn baby girls and equally adorable little man 😉
Hugs,
Liz
P.J.,
[snicker] Yes, pants are always optional, mostly — especially, for dads of beautiful newborn baby girls and equally adorable little man 😉
Hugs,
Liz
P.J.,
[snicker] Yes, pants are always optional, mostly — especially, for dads of beautiful newborn baby girls and equally adorable little man 😉
Hugs,
Liz
I’m impressed that you got all of your kids OUTSIDE at the same time! Asking either of my boys to get off the computer or turn off the Xbox and go outside gets me a solid eye-roll, every time.
I’m impressed that you got all of your kids OUTSIDE at the same time! Asking either of my boys to get off the computer or turn off the Xbox and go outside gets me a solid eye-roll, every time.
I’m impressed that you got all of your kids OUTSIDE at the same time! Asking either of my boys to get off the computer or turn off the Xbox and go outside gets me a solid eye-roll, every time.
I’m impressed that you got all of your kids OUTSIDE at the same time! Asking either of my boys to get off the computer or turn off the Xbox and go outside gets me a solid eye-roll, every time.
I’m impressed that you got all of your kids OUTSIDE at the same time! Asking either of my boys to get off the computer or turn off the Xbox and go outside gets me a solid eye-roll, every time.
I’m impressed that you got all of your kids OUTSIDE at the same time! Asking either of my boys to get off the computer or turn off the Xbox and go outside gets me a solid eye-roll, every time.
I’m impressed that you got all of your kids OUTSIDE at the same time! Asking either of my boys to get off the computer or turn off the Xbox and go outside gets me a solid eye-roll, every time.
Hi Elizabeth,
It was either, "Go outside," or "Clean your room!" Works everytime 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Elizabeth,
It was either, "Go outside," or "Clean your room!" Works everytime 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Elizabeth,
It was either, "Go outside," or "Clean your room!" Works everytime 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Elizabeth,
It was either, "Go outside," or "Clean your room!" Works everytime 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Elizabeth,
It was either, "Go outside," or "Clean your room!" Works everytime 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Elizabeth,
It was either, "Go outside," or "Clean your room!" Works everytime 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Elizabeth,
It was either, "Go outside," or "Clean your room!" Works everytime 😉
Hugs,
Liz
I’ll take the 20-something dude… I was wondering where my butler was just the other day!
I’ll take the 20-something dude… I was wondering where my butler was just the other day!
I’ll take the 20-something dude… I was wondering where my butler was just the other day!
I’ll take the 20-something dude… I was wondering where my butler was just the other day!
I’ll take the 20-something dude… I was wondering where my butler was just the other day!
I’ll take the 20-something dude… I was wondering where my butler was just the other day!
I’ll take the 20-something dude… I was wondering where my butler was just the other day!
Headless Mom: Whoops, sorry, my bad, did NOT know I was supposed to give him back 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Headless Mom: Whoops, sorry, my bad, did NOT know I was supposed to give him back 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Headless Mom: Whoops, sorry, my bad, did NOT know I was supposed to give him back 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Headless Mom: Whoops, sorry, my bad, did NOT know I was supposed to give him back 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Headless Mom: Whoops, sorry, my bad, did NOT know I was supposed to give him back 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Headless Mom: Whoops, sorry, my bad, did NOT know I was supposed to give him back 😉
Hugs,
Liz
Headless Mom: Whoops, sorry, my bad, did NOT know I was supposed to give him back 😉
Hugs,
Liz
This is awesome, I can read your stuff for days. And I agree, going barefoot is one of the little joys I can actually partake in (you can read that as “afford” if you like) and it’s a lot of fun and makes everyone in my family roll their eyes. I was going to write something today about it, in fact, but after reading this I may have to get my courage back up, my post was gonna be fairly lame-o by comparison.
This is awesome, I can read your stuff for days. And I agree, going barefoot is one of the little joys I can actually partake in (you can read that as “afford” if you like) and it’s a lot of fun and makes everyone in my family roll their eyes. I was going to write something today about it, in fact, but after reading this I may have to get my courage back up, my post was gonna be fairly lame-o by comparison.
This is awesome, I can read your stuff for days. And I agree, going barefoot is one of the little joys I can actually partake in (you can read that as “afford” if you like) and it’s a lot of fun and makes everyone in my family roll their eyes. I was going to write something today about it, in fact, but after reading this I may have to get my courage back up, my post was gonna be fairly lame-o by comparison.
This is awesome, I can read your stuff for days. And I agree, going barefoot is one of the little joys I can actually partake in (you can read that as “afford” if you like) and it’s a lot of fun and makes everyone in my family roll their eyes. I was going to write something today about it, in fact, but after reading this I may have to get my courage back up, my post was gonna be fairly lame-o by comparison.
This is awesome, I can read your stuff for days. And I agree, going barefoot is one of the little joys I can actually partake in (you can read that as “afford” if you like) and it’s a lot of fun and makes everyone in my family roll their eyes. I was going to write something today about it, in fact, but after reading this I may have to get my courage back up, my post was gonna be fairly lame-o by comparison.
This is awesome, I can read your stuff for days. And I agree, going barefoot is one of the little joys I can actually partake in (you can read that as “afford” if you like) and it’s a lot of fun and makes everyone in my family roll their eyes. I was going to write something today about it, in fact, but after reading this I may have to get my courage back up, my post was gonna be fairly lame-o by comparison.
This is awesome, I can read your stuff for days. And I agree, going barefoot is one of the little joys I can actually partake in (you can read that as “afford” if you like) and it’s a lot of fun and makes everyone in my family roll their eyes. I was going to write something today about it, in fact, but after reading this I may have to get my courage back up, my post was gonna be fairly lame-o by comparison.
Hi Ben: Eye rolls are highly underrated, I think! So nice that you dropped by and I'm glad I even remembered to wear pants (as far as you know!)
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Ben: Eye rolls are highly underrated, I think! So nice that you dropped by and I'm glad I even remembered to wear pants (as far as you know!)
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Ben: Eye rolls are highly underrated, I think! So nice that you dropped by and I'm glad I even remembered to wear pants (as far as you know!)
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Ben: Eye rolls are highly underrated, I think! So nice that you dropped by and I'm glad I even remembered to wear pants (as far as you know!)
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Ben: Eye rolls are highly underrated, I think! So nice that you dropped by and I'm glad I even remembered to wear pants (as far as you know!)
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Ben: Eye rolls are highly underrated, I think! So nice that you dropped by and I'm glad I even remembered to wear pants (as far as you know!)
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Ben: Eye rolls are highly underrated, I think! So nice that you dropped by and I'm glad I even remembered to wear pants (as far as you know!)
Hugs,
Liz