I almost didn’t make it to the toilet, this morning (yeah, I do that a lot) and so I slammed the door sort of…you know…like, what I tell the kids NOT to do (ditto) and a piece of wall paper, literally, jumped up and tore away from the bathroom wall.
"I bet Martha Stewart NEVER did that!!!"
Besides putting up wallpaper in a bathroom, I mean (I know, what WAS I thinking?) so, I sat there (because, I had a minute, or two left in me) and I started looking around.
UGH!
Definitely not a good thing to do – especially, with the Martha Stewart Show starting up its new season on September 15th (that’s Monday) when something supposedly is gonna happen (I dunno, it’s supposed to be BIG) and you’ve got tickets to the September 17th show about bloggers.
LIKE ME!
Yep, the audience will be FILLED with bloggers (and their laptops) and I’ve got tickets, baby (but, my laptop’s battery is borked) so, a couple of my blogging buddies (and me) are heading into New York City and hopefully, hook up with a couple more blogging buddies and I’m a little nervous.
No, not about going into "the city" (I’ve done bloggy-type things, before, with kids…even!) more like, what happens to me in "the city," once I eventually get there, I mean.
Doors open at 8:30 a.m., which means I have to drag my tired butt to the train station at the crack of dawn and pretend like I’m a real commuter, again.
Done that before, everyday AND 8 months pregnant…even!
"I bet Martha Stewart NEVER did that!"
You see, it’s just that, when I sometimes get the chance to meet new people (especially, bloggers) and then they…you know…start asking me stuff and THEN I do a really, REALLY good job of making a total ass out of myself.
"What do you blog about?"
[blank stare]
"Have we read each other, before?"
[shakes yes, no and then yes, again]
Then, eventually, I regain the power of speech (asshat, that I am) and THEN come up with something really, REALLY stupid to say!
"Oh, but I read your blog…all the time…AND know EVERYTHING about you!"
[insert some REALLY weird-ass music, here]
Still.
Martha has a pretty nice blog (I know, act surprised anyway) and posts photos of her even nicer house (filed under My Home) so, I thought to myself (still sitting on the toilet, remember?) it would probably help if I posted photos, as well, of my very…um…well, it’s…uh…okay, let’s just say it’s NOT Martha Stewart’s house!
You see, Martha probably doesn’t have violets that have been nearly dead for almost a year now (because, the cat peed on them) not to mention, sitting on something…low enough…that the cat can get to, anyway.
Nor, would Martha probably ever consider leaving her bananas go this long (or, black) because, there is plenty of room in HER fridge (no doubt) and she would eventually figure out something very useful to do with them, anyway (besides, making banana bread) rather than hosting an alarmingly large colony of fruit flies (like, I do) dammit!
Honestly, would Martha use a linen closet as a pantry?
Not to mention, store linen in a clothes closet?
Shared by three young daughters…even…or, is it just me and I’m thinking (yep, still on toilet and can’t feel my legs, anymore) surely, her house has plenty of closet space, yes?
Or, is being really, really messy just a girl thing?
Still, I really don’t know of ANYONE who enjoys "doing the laundry" (personally, anyway) and I love writing, more than anything (except, maybe cuddling with my kids and praising my husband’s coffee) but, at least maybe now Martha will better understand what my blog is all about.
[see masthead]
Hi, my name is Liz – I blog about 6 people living in a 7 room house and own a tiny little corner on the Internets known as, This Full House!
Remember me, now?
[blank stare]
I know, just pretend like you do and I’ll love you…forever, even!
© 2008 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
Comments
28 responses to “Martha Stewart does NOT live here – but, I read her blog and she probably won’t remember me, either!”
To Quote you:
“Hi, my name is Jen – I blog about 7 people living in a 7 room house and own a tiny little corner on the Internets known as, http://www.justgimmefive.blogspot.com ”
and at least you have “storage”, I have none, zip, nadda!!
To Quote you:
“Hi, my name is Jen – I blog about 7 people living in a 7 room house and own a tiny little corner on the Internets known as, http://www.justgimmefive.blogspot.com ”
and at least you have “storage”, I have none, zip, nadda!!
To Quote you:
“Hi, my name is Jen – I blog about 7 people living in a 7 room house and own a tiny little corner on the Internets known as, http://www.justgimmefive.blogspot.com ”
and at least you have “storage”, I have none, zip, nadda!!
To Quote you:
“Hi, my name is Jen – I blog about 7 people living in a 7 room house and own a tiny little corner on the Internets known as, http://www.justgimmefive.blogspot.com ”
and at least you have “storage”, I have none, zip, nadda!!
Hey Jen,
Nice to meet you – we can totally hang together – coffee, or tea?
Hugs,
Liz
Hey Jen,
Nice to meet you – we can totally hang together – coffee, or tea?
Hugs,
Liz
Hey Jen,
Nice to meet you – we can totally hang together – coffee, or tea?
Hugs,
Liz
Hey Jen,
Nice to meet you – we can totally hang together – coffee, or tea?
Hugs,
Liz
WHAT? You have tickets? To a MARTHA show about Bloggers? You have got to be kidding me! Oh. My. Gawd. So Jealous. Seriously.
As a side note, you have a rockin’ Dyson. I have the same one, and I believe it’s mere presence makes the rest of the house rockin as well. No Martha-ness needed. 😉
WHAT? You have tickets? To a MARTHA show about Bloggers? You have got to be kidding me! Oh. My. Gawd. So Jealous. Seriously.
As a side note, you have a rockin’ Dyson. I have the same one, and I believe it’s mere presence makes the rest of the house rockin as well. No Martha-ness needed. 😉
WHAT? You have tickets? To a MARTHA show about Bloggers? You have got to be kidding me! Oh. My. Gawd. So Jealous. Seriously.
As a side note, you have a rockin’ Dyson. I have the same one, and I believe it’s mere presence makes the rest of the house rockin as well. No Martha-ness needed. 😉
WHAT? You have tickets? To a MARTHA show about Bloggers? You have got to be kidding me! Oh. My. Gawd. So Jealous. Seriously.
As a side note, you have a rockin’ Dyson. I have the same one, and I believe it’s mere presence makes the rest of the house rockin as well. No Martha-ness needed. 😉
Hey Diana – how’s it goin’?
Oh, I love my Dyson – my parents gave it to us for an anniversary gift a couple of years ago – and I have a big-time crush on Mr. Dyson, too.
Yes my husband, Garth (not his real name) knows!
It’s the only thing in this darned house I haven’t managed to break, yet!
Hey Diana – how’s it goin’?
Oh, I love my Dyson – my parents gave it to us for an anniversary gift a couple of years ago – and I have a big-time crush on Mr. Dyson, too.
Yes my husband, Garth (not his real name) knows!
It’s the only thing in this darned house I haven’t managed to break, yet!
Hey Diana – how’s it goin’?
Oh, I love my Dyson – my parents gave it to us for an anniversary gift a couple of years ago – and I have a big-time crush on Mr. Dyson, too.
Yes my husband, Garth (not his real name) knows!
It’s the only thing in this darned house I haven’t managed to break, yet!
Hey Diana – how’s it goin’?
Oh, I love my Dyson – my parents gave it to us for an anniversary gift a couple of years ago – and I have a big-time crush on Mr. Dyson, too.
Yes my husband, Garth (not his real name) knows!
It’s the only thing in this darned house I haven’t managed to break, yet!
Hey real (cool) people make real messes!
How FUN!
I am a closet Martha lover, but I am definitely not a closet Martha although I wish I had some of that juju flowing through my veins!
p.s. if Martha is looking for some homes to pimp, put my name in will ya? 😉
Hey real (cool) people make real messes!
How FUN!
I am a closet Martha lover, but I am definitely not a closet Martha although I wish I had some of that juju flowing through my veins!
p.s. if Martha is looking for some homes to pimp, put my name in will ya? 😉
Hey real (cool) people make real messes!
How FUN!
I am a closet Martha lover, but I am definitely not a closet Martha although I wish I had some of that juju flowing through my veins!
p.s. if Martha is looking for some homes to pimp, put my name in will ya? 😉
Hey real (cool) people make real messes!
How FUN!
I am a closet Martha lover, but I am definitely not a closet Martha although I wish I had some of that juju flowing through my veins!
p.s. if Martha is looking for some homes to pimp, put my name in will ya? 😉
Well, your house looks like mine. And I have more rooms, but more people too. That’s why we get along so well – both of us live without enough closet space. I’m convinced that’s it.
Well, your house looks like mine. And I have more rooms, but more people too. That’s why we get along so well – both of us live without enough closet space. I’m convinced that’s it.
Well, your house looks like mine. And I have more rooms, but more people too. That’s why we get along so well – both of us live without enough closet space. I’m convinced that’s it.
Well, your house looks like mine. And I have more rooms, but more people too. That’s why we get along so well – both of us live without enough closet space. I’m convinced that’s it.
Jamie and Carmen,
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting both of you, in person and – though, you both are painfully cute up close – I believe that I could hang with you guys, in real life, too!
Hugs,
Liz
Jamie and Carmen,
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting both of you, in person and – though, you both are painfully cute up close – I believe that I could hang with you guys, in real life, too!
Hugs,
Liz
Jamie and Carmen,
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting both of you, in person and – though, you both are painfully cute up close – I believe that I could hang with you guys, in real life, too!
Hugs,
Liz
Jamie and Carmen,
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting both of you, in person and – though, you both are painfully cute up close – I believe that I could hang with you guys, in real life, too!
Hugs,
Liz