Most parents know that boys and girls are different – they look different, they behave differently and often times dance to the beat of a different drum.
Yep, little boys…they pretty much scared me, too!
Even so, we wanted it to be sort of…you know…a surprise – afterall, this was our third (but not last) pregnancy – and I was perfectly happy with the idea of having another girl baby…or, scary little boy babies…whatever.
Until.
At about 2:00 p.m. (eight years ago, today) my husband adjusted the vcr, set out the movies he’d chosen the night before, reached for the playing cards and started to deal out a hand of Solitaire.
I grabbed him by his shirt collar, pulled myself up to his face and gently asked:
“What the f*ck are you doing?â€
[stroking my hand]
“Careful, you’ll pull your i.v. out!â€
[huge moan]
“But…the baby’s coming!â€
[looking surprised]
“No it’s not.â€
[me, looking even more surprised]
“Uh…yeah…I gotta push!â€
[looks at watch]
“Nah, honey…I don’t think so…it’s too early – the girls took way longer than this – just sit back, and relax.â€
My husband doesn’t remember much, after that, besides the fact that this is most likely the part where I bit him…really hard…and left a nice-sized scar, in the shape of a half moon, between his thumb and index finger on his right hand.
“SOMEBODY BETTER GET READY TO CATCH THIS KID…â€
Five minutes later and on the second push, there was silence.
“Why isn’t he crying?â€
I don’t remember much, but – after what seemed like a lifetime – the nurses wrapped Little Man in a warm blanket and placed him on my stomach.
I pulled the blanket away from his face and gasped:
“Oh my Gawd…what did I do?
[stroking my head]
“You gave us a son, Sweetie!”
[crying]
I know…but…he’s blue!â€
I’m not kidding – his face, hands and feet were totally blue – apparently, I punted “the boy” out when I should have passed.
Thankfully, Mary was listening.
His face was turned toward my spine and the only thing that kept him from suffocating was his arm thrust between the cord and his neck.
“I guess I’m just gonna have to get used to really loud armpit farts and stinky pee-pee jokes…huh, Little Man!”
Yep – all bets were off – it’s hard for me to admit (especially thinking back now) that I was more than a little scared, as I called my mother and announced the news…we had ourselves a boy baby!
“But, don’t be alarmed. Your grandson is…well…um…he’s very blue.â€
[without skipping a beat]
“Babies are sometimes like that, it’ll fade. Heck, you were a lovely shade of burgundy when you were born.â€
Nice.
Yes – as the girls and I already know – boys are most definitely different.
…which perhaps explains why…
…his sisters and I love him so much!
Not to mention my deep appreciation for red wine – Happy Birthday to our little Sk8terboy!
Comments
30 responses to “It’s not our fault, they pulled a mind scramble on us – they opened their eyes and talked.”
Happy Birthday Little Man!
(Wow, that story had it all, action, drama… all the things I am sure you could have done without that day!)
Happy Birthday Little Man!
(Wow, that story had it all, action, drama… all the things I am sure you could have done without that day!)
Happy Birthday Little Man!
(Wow, that story had it all, action, drama… all the things I am sure you could have done without that day!)
Grey’s Anatomy my ass…they ain’t got nothin’ on Thompson’s House of Poop, Puke and Snot!
Grey’s Anatomy my ass…they ain’t got nothin’ on Thompson’s House of Poop, Puke and Snot!
Grey’s Anatomy my ass…they ain’t got nothin’ on Thompson’s House of Poop, Puke and Snot!
Happy Birthday !!! After reliving all that trama, you need topur yourself another glass of wine.
Happy Birthday !!! After reliving all that trama, you need topur yourself another glass of wine.
Happy Birthday !!! After reliving all that trama, you need topur yourself another glass of wine.
Oh my goodness, I was riveted by every word. Hooray for happy endings, and moms who can still appreciate them all these years later.
(And teeth marks? Really?)
Oh my goodness, I was riveted by every word. Hooray for happy endings, and moms who can still appreciate them all these years later.
(And teeth marks? Really?)
Oh my goodness, I was riveted by every word. Hooray for happy endings, and moms who can still appreciate them all these years later.
(And teeth marks? Really?)
Oh that is a great birth story! You had me giggling!
Happy birthday to your son! Our son came into this
world with a bang too! He was my car birth! LOL!
Oh that is a great birth story! You had me giggling!
Happy birthday to your son! Our son came into this
world with a bang too! He was my car birth! LOL!
Oh that is a great birth story! You had me giggling!
Happy birthday to your son! Our son came into this
world with a bang too! He was my car birth! LOL!
Teeth marks; really. Although my husband’s story of just how he got them is a bit different than mine and I think may even involve a dance pole, or something.
Car birth…oh…my…dog…Shiloah, now THAT would make an awesome birth story. Not in my car – there just isn’t any room – what, with all the soccer, baseball and basketball stuff rolling around and all ;o)
Teeth marks; really. Although my husband’s story of just how he got them is a bit different than mine and I think may even involve a dance pole, or something.
Car birth…oh…my…dog…Shiloah, now THAT would make an awesome birth story. Not in my car – there just isn’t any room – what, with all the soccer, baseball and basketball stuff rolling around and all ;o)
Teeth marks; really. Although my husband’s story of just how he got them is a bit different than mine and I think may even involve a dance pole, or something.
Car birth…oh…my…dog…Shiloah, now THAT would make an awesome birth story. Not in my car – there just isn’t any room – what, with all the soccer, baseball and basketball stuff rolling around and all ;o)
I had one that was blue for a while–words can’t describe how scary it is, but you do pretty well at it!
Happy Birthday to number 3!
I had one that was blue for a while–words can’t describe how scary it is, but you do pretty well at it!
Happy Birthday to number 3!
I had one that was blue for a while–words can’t describe how scary it is, but you do pretty well at it!
Happy Birthday to number 3!
Happy belated birthday to arm in there!
Happy belated birthday to arm in there!
Happy belated birthday to arm in there!
Geez–I need to proofread my own comments! I lefet out half of it. It was SUPPOSED to be:
Happy belated birthday to Little Man. Good thing he thought to stick that arm in there.
Make more sense now?
Geez–I need to proofread my own comments! I lefet out half of it. It was SUPPOSED to be:
Happy belated birthday to Little Man. Good thing he thought to stick that arm in there.
Make more sense now?
Geez–I need to proofread my own comments! I lefet out half of it. It was SUPPOSED to be:
Happy belated birthday to Little Man. Good thing he thought to stick that arm in there.
Make more sense now?
Actually, I rather like “happy belated birthday to arm in there”. Maybe that could be Little Man’s “Indian Name” — you know, like, Stands With A Fist?
Hope the birthday celebration was joyous and way more fun than the actual birth day. Yeeow. And I’m glad to see he’s no longer looks like a member of the Blue Man Group.
Actually, I rather like “happy belated birthday to arm in there”. Maybe that could be Little Man’s “Indian Name” — you know, like, Stands With A Fist?
Hope the birthday celebration was joyous and way more fun than the actual birth day. Yeeow. And I’m glad to see he’s no longer looks like a member of the Blue Man Group.
Actually, I rather like “happy belated birthday to arm in there”. Maybe that could be Little Man’s “Indian Name” — you know, like, Stands With A Fist?
Hope the birthday celebration was joyous and way more fun than the actual birth day. Yeeow. And I’m glad to see he’s no longer looks like a member of the Blue Man Group.