As a stay-at-home-mom — who happens to spend a large portion of the day in the car, btw — if you’re a parent…then you know…a vast majority of our time is spent going to and from another practice (or a meeting) and standing on yet another very looooong line because there’s, “just one more stop we have to make!”
I swear.
My kids and I have become accustomed to hearing me holler two very conflicting phrases:
“Hurry up!”
…and…
“Wait!”
[see picture above]
180 out of 365, I get to stare at the same cars…ignore the “do not park” signs…and read the same old bumper stickers…twice…and if you are like me…and are prone to severe bouts of pococuRANTism…this can be a very dangerously caustic time, for me – especially at the end of the day!
“I swear…I’m soooo tired…I haven’t been home all day…I mean…if I have to wait on one more loooooong line…or, hear one more person ask, “You’re NOT working, right?!?” I mean…I swear…I…am…going…to…go…buh…”
And from somewhere behind me, in a very little voice, Mini-me finishes yet another one of my sentences:
“Buwshit!”
[eyes go wide]
“I mean…dat’s what you would tell dem…wight, Mama!?!?”
And Thing Two – who is also prone to fits of sheer boredom – playing with my camera phone, snapped a picture of me (ignore the heavy eye baggage and stress-induced zits!) in response:
“Buh-listic…is what I meant to say!”
Don’t worry, it’s okay…YES, of course having a potty-mouth is a no-no…but, Mommies and Daddies are the exception to the rule…especially at Christmas…and I explained it to her:
“Yes, Mini-me…there is a Bullshit Clause!”
WHAT – didn’t you know – it’s in our contract!?!
Don’t believe me?
You can go look it up – GO AHEAD – hurry up, I’ll wait!
Comments
18 responses to “Picture Perfect Thursday – The Sanity Clause”
Heh, it’s funny, I was IMing with a friend that I like and respect this evening and I refered to his insurance people as the ‘blinkin’ insurance people’ and he said… Do you swear in front of your kids? I paused, unsure if I should tell the truth or if I should keep schtum… I said – uh, only when I’m really mad (hope this wouldn’t offend him too much) and then I thought what the
hellheck, and asked if he did and he was like “hell yes” 🙂Yes it’s in the contract dear, swear away!!
Heh, it’s funny, I was IMing with a friend that I like and respect this evening and I refered to his insurance people as the ‘blinkin’ insurance people’ and he said… Do you swear in front of your kids? I paused, unsure if I should tell the truth or if I should keep schtum… I said – uh, only when I’m really mad (hope this wouldn’t offend him too much) and then I thought what the
hellheck, and asked if he did and he was like “hell yes” 🙂Yes it’s in the contract dear, swear away!!
Heh, it’s funny, I was IMing with a friend that I like and respect this evening and I refered to his insurance people as the ‘blinkin’ insurance people’ and he said… Do you swear in front of your kids? I paused, unsure if I should tell the truth or if I should keep schtum… I said – uh, only when I’m really mad (hope this wouldn’t offend him too much) and then I thought what the
hellheck, and asked if he did and he was like “hell yes” 🙂Yes it’s in the contract dear, swear away!!
I’ve been a mother for about 21 1/2 years now, which is exactly how long I’ve been trying to clean up my language.
As for the picture, all I can say is thank heavens for school buses!
I’ve been a mother for about 21 1/2 years now, which is exactly how long I’ve been trying to clean up my language.
As for the picture, all I can say is thank heavens for school buses!
I’ve been a mother for about 21 1/2 years now, which is exactly how long I’ve been trying to clean up my language.
As for the picture, all I can say is thank heavens for school buses!
LOL! The Bullshit Clause will be visiting our happy home this holiday season! 😉
LOL! The Bullshit Clause will be visiting our happy home this holiday season! 😉
LOL! The Bullshit Clause will be visiting our happy home this holiday season! 😉
Though I do try to run all my speech through the Kid Safe O Meter, occasionally, one slips by. And it pretty much always comes back to haunt me when that happens.
Say, you’ve inspired me to expand on this topic…
Though I do try to run all my speech through the Kid Safe O Meter, occasionally, one slips by. And it pretty much always comes back to haunt me when that happens.
Say, you’ve inspired me to expand on this topic…
Though I do try to run all my speech through the Kid Safe O Meter, occasionally, one slips by. And it pretty much always comes back to haunt me when that happens.
Say, you’ve inspired me to expand on this topic…
Interesting comments.. 😀
Interesting comments.. 😀
Interesting comments.. 😀