Because I’m feeling tired, cranky, and irritable from doing way too much stuff — like I’ve got diaper rash right down to my knees, or something – while everyone else is like…so…you know…not!
[getting tapped on shoulder and turning off vacuum]
“WHAT!”
[nervously looks around empty room]
“Um…sweets…uh…why are doing that…like…now?”
[frowns while scratching at an underground zit on chin]
“Because I want to finish, I don’t want to have to do it again, tomorrow, and this friggin’ carpet’s FILTHY!?!”
[steps back a bit before answering]
“But…um…the carpet guys are going to rip it up  anyway, and isn’t it sort of like…well…cleaning the house before the housekeeper arrives?”
[insert — “quick, hide all sharp objects” and “protect your balls at all cost” – ominus sort of look, here!]
“Well, I really wouldn’t know — would I? Besides, this is the last time I’ll ever have to vacuum this friggin’ ugly-ass excuse for a carpet, anyways!”
[click]
Honestly — perhaps I should have been a little more…I don’t know…thankful — the carpet was here when we moved into our house, thirteen years ago, and even then…I hated it!
[getting tapped on knee and turning off vacuum]
“Dammit…but I’m tired…sweaty…all I want to do is finish and get rid of this piece of…!”
[turns to see four-year-old frowning]
“CAKE…getting rid of this old carpet is going to be a  piece of cake!?!”
[joined by her older sisters and brother]
“But, we don’t want you to get rid of the carpet…we love this carpet…don’t you remember how much fun we had on this carpet?!!”
[swallowing hard]
“Um…yeah…but…you know…it’s old…and stained…and…well…you know…!”
Yes — the carpet was FUGLY! — I was physically tired of moving furniture and frustrated by sneezing from tons of dust kitties, and started to say so, and instead pointed at something…sticky.
“Oh, check this out you guys, this is the spot where Mini-Me blew her first bubble and then dropped her gum.
And those three little burn holes, over there, are from the sparklers dad put on Thing Two’s first birthday cake.
That big ‘ole stain by the television is where Thing One learned how to walk, while Barney was on, and dropped her sippy cup!
And remember when Little Man tried to lick the dog and puked in that corner!?!”
The kids and I were laughing so hard — we nearly added another puke spot to the countless others laying about — that I totally bagged the vacuum and sat down with the kids as they broke out the mini-baby-albums I’d made for each of them and kept on the bookcase…now in the kitchen, of course.
Yes — I LOVE MY NEW CARPET! — even though I knew it would be a lot work getting the living room/family room carpeted and that I would be physically exhausted today, I couldn’t have imagined a better way to spend an evening with my rugrats…than re-visiting some of my favorite baby memories…and exploring the carpet on my hands and knees.
[opening front door]
“Yes, can I help you?
[pointing towards sidewalk]
“I see you’ve got new carpeting?”
[holding the dog back by his collar and smiling brightly]
“Yes, and it was wonderful!”
[not smiling]
“Yes, well, that must mean that you’ve called and made an another appointment?”
[blank stare]
“To have the old carpeting hauled away, yes?”
[considering letting the dog go]
“And of course you know that you can’t leave it by the sidewalk, and will have to haul it up to the side of your house, until they get here, because the next knock you’re bound to hear, perhaps will be from someone’s nasty lawyer, rather than a nice town official, like me.”
So, my children and I learned that — even though it’s sometimes hard — growing up sometimes means we need to be mindful of the fact that there will be those times when we accept change…as a good thing.
But, the two things going through my mind, as I finished hauling another couple of hundred pounds more than my share of weight this morning, are “Being a grown up sucks,” and more to the point….“FRIGGIN’ CARPET!”
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8 responses to ““Or maybe last night while we “was” sleeping, the whole world got turned upside down and now the grownups play all day and the kids go to work… “”
Oh yeah, now I remember why I lobbied to keep our hardwood floors!
(Although I am sure I was no where near as happy when I needed to refinish them)
Oh yeah, now I remember why I lobbied to keep our hardwood floors!
(Although I am sure I was no where near as happy when I needed to refinish them)
Reminding me of why it’s so cool I rent. Well, ya know…looking on the bright side.
Reminding me of why it’s so cool I rent. Well, ya know…looking on the bright side.
argh, this is why i hate neighborhood associations. They suck.
argh, this is why i hate neighborhood associations. They suck.
My son just threw up on the carpet in our playroom/office. Playroom/office that’s an oxymoron. So as I sit here smelling sour milk, lysol and Febreeze I am dreaming of a day when we rip up this ugly stained carpet and put down wood floor.
Oh, and the last crpet we removed we cut up and put in bags and boxes so the garbage man would take it. They take most anything here.
My son just threw up on the carpet in our playroom/office. Playroom/office that’s an oxymoron. So as I sit here smelling sour milk, lysol and Febreeze I am dreaming of a day when we rip up this ugly stained carpet and put down wood floor.
Oh, and the last crpet we removed we cut up and put in bags and boxes so the garbage man would take it. They take most anything here.