Not for nothing, but — after a weekend of raking leaves, digging holes, moving shrubbery and cutting back dead wood – I’m feeling pretty gosh-darned old at the moment.
And my poor husband?
[rolls shoulders and rubs neck]
Talk about neglected old…wood!
[shakes head and frowns]
If a man is only as old as the woman he feels, then break out the black, because the old man’s Johnson is as good as dead!
[clears throat]
Anyway.
You didn’t come here to read about my sex life — or lack, thereof — and if you did, well…move along mothatrucker…’cause they ain’t nuttin’ happenin’ that old mothahubbard ain’t seen since…sheeeeeee-at…long befo’ velcro!
[Note to self – remember to happienate the Hubz with a wifel nightcap and…girl please!…get your head out of the urban dictionary!]Â
No, I’m not twenty…anymore…but, I’ll be dayum…**cough**…damned if a few aches and pains are going to stop my man from feeling…uh…my age.
Feeling a little old, yourself, eh?
Well, here’s something a little…uh…well, in the immortal words of Eddie Izzard, “Cake or Death?”
[blank stare]
Okay, make mine…death by chocolate!
So, to kick off yet another week of stupid crazy, may I present for your blogging pleasure:
YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
This is pretty neat, it takes less than a minute to work this out as you read, be sure to not read the bottom until you’re done!
Oh, and some of you may want to grab a calculator…**cough**…because having kids not only makes you feel old, they reek havoc on your brain cells, too!
- First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10).
- Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).
- Add 5.
- Multiply it by 50 — I’ll wait while you get the calculator.
- If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 ….
If you haven’t, add 1755. - Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
- You should have a three digit number.Â
The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are YOUR AGE!
(Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
Note: This is the only year (2006) it will ever work, so spread it around…while it lasts!
Comments
18 responses to “A man is only as old, as the woman he feels!”
oh my god that’s so cool! It worked on me! 😀
Cravings: 5, Age: 16!
oh my god that’s so cool! It worked on me! 😀
Cravings: 5, Age: 16!
That is really weird. It did work for me.
That is really weird. It did work for me.
OMG! That is too weird
OMG! That is too weird
Woah!! Cool math trick! Now, where’s my chocolate?!?
Woah!! Cool math trick! Now, where’s my chocolate?!?
I swear I get this email every. single. year.
But it does work! And it is some sort of math magic trick!
I swear I get this email every. single. year.
But it does work! And it is some sort of math magic trick!
I’m delurking to say hello! Oh, and cool math trick. I admit I was sceptical, ’cause those darn things never work for me, but — voila! It really worked! Off to get me some chocolate…
I’m delurking to say hello! Oh, and cool math trick. I admit I was sceptical, ’cause those darn things never work for me, but — voila! It really worked! Off to get me some chocolate…
OK, I stopped at “mothatrucker”… like you said.
OK, I stopped at “mothatrucker”… like you said.
Damn you woman for making me think of chocolate so early in the morning! 🙂 And it WORKED! That’s crazy.
Damn you woman for making me think of chocolate so early in the morning! 🙂 And it WORKED! That’s crazy.
The part about getting the calculator got me, of course, I thoughtI could do it in my head!
The part about getting the calculator got me, of course, I thoughtI could do it in my head!